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Thursday, September 25, 2014

A BUNCH OF UNCONNECTED STUFF (OR) FISHDUCKY'S BABBLING AGAIN


Guess what this is:
(Answer below)



I thought this was interesting:

Don'y want to wait 9 months for a baby?
Have one (seemingly) before lunch:
Click here.

For a clever (but weird) video click here.


In law school Bud had to take a class that was held in a large lecture hall at 8:00 am on Saturdays.  This hour was apparently too much pressure for one student.  One Saturday at around 7:30 he hid in a janitor’s closet inside the lecture hall.  About 10 or 15 minutes after the class started, a loud alarm clock was heard ringing from inside the closet.  The pajama & robe clad student came out carrying the clock, a toothbrush, toothpaste & a towel.  He scratched himself & muttered, “These early Saturday classes are going to kill me” & walked out the lecture hall door into the hallway.  I guess the instructor understood & agreed, because when the student later came & apologized to him for interrupting the class he was told, in a stern voice, “Mr. R-------, that was very unmannerly, very unlawyerlike, very ungentlemanly, AND VERY FUNNY!!”

Speaking of clocks, you'll love this !!
Click anywhere in the clock and it becomes digital, 
another click and it returns to normal.


These babies make perfect sense.
To each other, at least!!

A boy asks his father to explain the differences among irritation, aggravation, and frustration. 

His father picks up the phone and dials a number at random. When the phone is answered, he asks, "Can I speak to Alf, please?" 

"No! There's no one called Alf here," says the person who answered the phone. 

His father hangs up. "That's irritation," he says. 

He picks up the phone again, dials the same number, and asks for Alf a second time. "No! There's no one here called Alf. Go away. If you call again I shall telephone the police," the person says. 

His father hangs up and says, "That's aggravation." 



"Then what's frustration?" asks his son. The father picks up the phone and dials the same number a third time. 


"Hello, this is Alf. Have I received any phone calls?" he asks casually.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Long, unproductive meetings are often the bane of corporate life. My very funny boss at the software company where I work has come up with what just might be the perfect way to cut business conferences short before they start rambling out of control. There comes a time when he announces, "All those opposed to my plan say, 'I resign.'" End of meeting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. 

After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. 

"I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Larry's barn burned down and his wife, Susan, called the insurance company.  

Susan spoke to the insurance agent and said, "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand, and I want my money." 


The agent replied, "Whoa there, just a minute. Insurance doesn't work quite like that. An independent adjuster will assess the value of what was insured, and then we'll provide you with a new barn of similar worth." 


There was a long pause, and then Susan replied, "If that's how it works, then I want to cancel the life insurance policy on my husband." 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When a physician remarked on a new patient's extraordinarily ruddy complexion, he said, "High blood pressure, Doc. It comes from my family." 

"Your mother's side or your father's?" I asked. 

"Neither," he replied. "It's from my wife's family." 

"Oh, come now," I said. "How could your wife's family give you high blood pressure?" 

He sighed. "You oughta meet 'em sometime, Doc!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

































Answer to "Guess what this is":
It’s a Welfare Office.  No reason to stand on your feet waiting to get your welfare check. Just put your flip-flops next in line and go back and sit on your butt and play games on your iPhone.  Is this a great country or what?


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If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the fool who said, "Quit while you're ahead?----fishducky