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Friday, September 26, 2014

TOMORROW I'LL BE 80!!






Blogger’s been screwing with me again.  Most people did not get Wednesday’s post, "A BUNCH OF UNCONNECTED STUFF (OR) FISHDUCKY'S BABBLING AGAIN”.  I tried to run it again yesterday—it only partially worked.  If you haven’t read it (& you want to) I suggest going to “older post” at the bottom of this one.  GOOD LUCK!! 


Birthdays are good for you.
The more you have, the longer you'll live!!




My daughter asked me if there was anything special I'd like to do to celebrate my birthday.  I told her a parade would be nice.  Nothing on the scale of the Rose Parade--maybe a dozen floats & a hundred or so marchers.  She said she didn't think so.  I don't know why she even asked!


I told my son, Matt, that I'd like a parade & he sent me this.  
The marchers in front are carrying pictures of my family.  
Thanks, Matt!!





Manzanita (Wanna Buy a Duck) wrote this for her 84th birthday.  I stole it!!

Crash the cymbals
Beat the drums
I'm still breathing

The Geography of Women 

Between 18 and 22 a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful.

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe, well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40 a woman is like Greece, gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50 a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all conquering past.

Between 51 and 60 a woman is like Israel, has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice, and takes care of business.

Between 61 and 70 a woman is like Canada, self-preserving but open to meeting new people.

After 70, she becomes Tibet. Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages. An adventurous spirit with a thirst for spiritual knowledge.

The Geography of a Man

Between 1 and 80 a man is like North Korea and Zimbabwe, ruled by a pair of nuts.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You Know You're Old When:

In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. 
You and your teeth don't sleep together. 
People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?" 
You begin every other sentence with, "Nowadays..." 
The clothes you've put away until they come back in style... come back in style. 
Things you buy now won't wear out. 
There's nothing left to learn the hard way. 
Getting a little action means you don't need to take a laxative. 
Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot. 
Happy hour is a nap. 
You realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise. 
You are 17 around the neck, 42 around the waist, 94 around the golf course. 
You're told to act your own age, & you die.

Q: What's the easiest way to remember your wife's birthday? A: Forget it once! 
Q: What do Jesus Christ, George Washington and Christopher Columbus all have in common? A: They were all born on holidays. 
Q: Why couldn't prehistoric man send birthday cards? A: The stamps kept falling off the rocks! 
Q: Why are birthdays good for you? A: Statistics show that the people who have the most birthdays live the longest! 
Q: What do you give nine-hundred-pound gorilla for his birthday? A: I don't know, but you'd better hope he likes it!  
Q: How can you tell that you're getting old? A: You go to an antique auction and three people bid on you! 

Patient: "Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake." 
Doctor: "Next time, blow out the candles first." 
jokes4us

My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. 
He asked me how old I was, and I told him, "62." 
He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"

arcamax

Click on http://whathappenedinmybirthyear.com
The screen is going to fade to black.
You'll be pleasantly surprised with this. 
Type the 4 digit year only. Then click the question (?) mark.
 





















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It's too late for me to become a prostitute--I'm past my sell-by date----fishducky