Wednesday, November 5, 2014


This post was written at the suggestion of Dee (coming home to myself).  She & I are both great admirers of Mark Twain.  I am actually writing this on the day before the elections, to be posted the day after.  Since you'll be reading this on Wednesday, I hope you exercised your privilege of voting yesterday.  Whether or not your propositions passed or your candidate won, I believe these quotes still hold true!!  This post consists entirely of Twain's quotes--I didn't feel there was anything I could add. 


"Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress . But I repeat myself.

“There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress."  

"Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it."

"A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies."

"Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it."   

"It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled."  

"Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a Congressman can."  

"An honest man in politics shines more there than he would elsewhere."  

"I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's."  

"All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity."  

"Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about."  

"Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it."

"Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable."  

"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."

"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect."

"Never argue with stupid people. They will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience."
"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society."  

"If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed."  

"Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well."  

"Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it."  

"I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."  

"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."  

"Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered--either by themselves or by others."  

"A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory."  

"Only laughter can blow [a colossal humbug] to rags and atoms at a blast. Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand."  

"There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages."  

"Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed."  

"Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often." 

"The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause."  

"Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words."

“Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat."  

"The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop."  

“Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer."  

"I've had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened."  

"Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company."  

"Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest."

"Never argue with stupid people. They will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience."

"Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile. Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." ----Mark Twain (& fishducky)