Friday, November 21, 2014


I can’t remember if I’ve told you this story before, but I can’t find it in my records.  My mind is usually like a steel trap.  I can remember every single thing!!  Why, just the other day…who’s calling, please?

Anyway, my friend was throwing a cocktail party in her apartment.  She finished preparing her platters & set them on the kitchen counter under the window.  Her guests were due in just under an hour.  Pleased to have everything done so early, she took a leisurely shower.  She got dressed, put on her makeup & returned to the kitchen.  It had started raining hard while she was showering & the window above the food was open.  The rain was coming through the dirty window screen & coating the food below.  She climbed on the counter to close the window.  She slipped on the wet, dirty counter, fell on the food & landed on the floor with a sore ankle!!

The phone rang & she limped over to answer it.  She cried & complained at length to the caller about her guest’s imminent arrival, the ruined food, her now dirty clothes & her sore ankle..  The caller responded with short, sympathetic comments & let her continue ranting & raving.  After several minutes, she realized she didn’t know who she was talking to.  After checking, it turned out to be a wrong number.  She asked the man why he had continued to listen to her complain when he didn’t even know her.  He said that she obviously was having such a bad night, he didn’t have the heart to interrupt!!
A guy was sitting in a bar when a stranger walked up to him and asked, "If you woke up in the woods and scratched your butt and felt Vaseline, would you tell anyone?"  "Hell no!" the guy said.  The stranger then asked, "If you felt further into your crack and pulled out a used condom, would you tell anyone?"  The man said, "Of course not."  The stranger asked, "Wanna go camping?"

The next time you’re in an elevator with half a dozen strangers, turn & say, “I’m sure you’re wondering why I’ve called this meeting!!”----fishducky