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Monday, December 8, 2014

YOGA IS MORE THAN COMFORTABLE PANTS


I had 124 followers.  Now I have 123.  I don't know who it is that I lost.  Will whoever's no longer here please raise his or her hand?  Thank you!!

I used to take a yoga class once a week & I loved it.  I hosted a weekend retreat at our beach condo a few times for my classmates.  During these retreats we enjoyed bike rides through the pier facilities & soaked up the California sun.  We also had group massages, which were wonderful.  Five people--one for each limb & one for the neck would massage one person at the same time.  Lights were dimmed & soft music was playing.  You would lie there with your eyes closed & at first you would think, "Whoever's working on my right arm is pressing harder than whoever's doing my left & my left leg is being massaged faster than my right" & soon you'd think, "The hell with trying to figure it out--this feels marvelous!!"

I want to tell you about the last retreat & something that amazed me.  Let me give you some background.  My dad had suddenly become very ill & we had hospitalized him the previous week. He had brain cancer & was not expected to live.  He was unable to speak or to respond to us. The retreat had been scheduled for months but I told Bud I would cancel it.  He insisted I go ahead with it, telling me that I needed to relax & that the hospital was only an hour away & that I could get there quickly if it became necessary.  After our instructor had completed our class, she would have us lie down, close our eyes & relax completely.  During this relaxation I had an out of body experience.  I know I was not asleep!!  I found myself in my father's hospital room. He sat up, looked at me & said, "What in the hell are you doing here?  You should be at the beach!!  You need to relax--I'll be fine."  When I opened my eyes I was back at the beach.  He died about the same time I was “visiting” him.  
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A group of bats, hanging from the ceiling of a cave, discover a single bat STANDING upright below them on the floor of the cave. Surprised by this unusual behavior, they ask, “What’s wrong with you? What are you doing down there?” The standing bat answers, “Yoga!”
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 A student went to his meditation teacher and said, “My meditation is horrible! I feel so distracted, or my legs ache, or I’m constantly falling asleep. It’s just horrible!”
“It will pass,” the teacher said matter-of-factly.
A week later, the student came back to his teacher. “My meditation is wonderful! I feel so aware, so peaceful, so alive! It’s just wonderful!”
“It will pass,” the teacher replied matter-of-factly.
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Q: How many yogis does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Into what?
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What did the Yogi say when he walked into the Pizza Parlor?
“Make me one with everything.”
When the Yogi got the pizza, he gave the proprietor a $20 bill. The proprietor pocketed the bill. The Yogi said “Don’t I get change?”
The proprietor said, “Change must come from within.”
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Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape----fishducky