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Friday, January 30, 2015

"GOOD MORNING" IS AN OXYMORON





I have been called many things throughout my life, but a "morning person" has never been one of them.  When my kids were in elementary school I made what I considered the supreme sacrifice & got up to make them their breakfast.  After a while, they apparently got their nerve up & told me they couldn't eat in the morning when I was around.  They asked me to make their lunches before I went to bed & then they would get their own breakfast--& I thought I was being cheerful!!  I always felt school hours should have been from noon until 6:00 pm--then I might have been able to function.

Sunsets can be wonderful, but the only sunrises I ever really enjoyed were those I watched before going to bed.  One year the kids gave me this sticker to put on my bedroom mirror--they said it looked just like me.  It's still there!!


One of the most frustrating things about getting old is now that the kids are all in their own homes & I don't have a job I have to go to is now I can sleep as late as I want & I wake up about 6:00 or 7:00 am & I often fall asleep during the day.  I can't find a video of it, but I loved the Carole Burnett Show, especially where Tim Conway played a little old man.  In one skit, he kept dozing off & when he woke up he asked, "Did I miss September?  I love September!!"  I can identify.
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This is from Joe at Cranky Old Man:

I don’t mind all cheerful people in the morning; it is strangers who are the tinfoil on my fillings.  I used to walk to the train in the morning still half awake and not grumpy, but not in an “on top of the world” kinda mood either.  Coming the other way is a power walking lady pumping those 1 ½ pound hand weight things and with a big smile hits me out of the blue with a cheery “Good Morning!”

I may nod back or even grumble a “yeah” back, and that is when I get the return comment that will ruin the next hour and a half of my day.

“Smile, cheer up, it can’t be that bad!”

Well, maybe it is!  Maybe my wife just left me…again.  Maybe I just lost my job, maybe I have a splitting headache, maybe I hate going to work or maybe I just don’t need my morning routine interrupted by some cheery powerwalking lady who has not a care in the world telling me what kind of a mood to be in!  I will cheer the frig up if and when I want to cheer up and I will smile if and when I want to smile, so just pump those sissy-ass weights, shut the hell up, and keep walking. BITCH!
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Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the world. 

There are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord," 

And there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning."

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Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning & was always late for work. His boss threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it, so Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill & told him to take it before he went to bed.

Tom slept well & in fact beat the alarm in the morning.  He had a leisurely breakfast & drove cheerfully to work.  "Boss," he said, "The pill actually worked!"

"That's all fine," said his boss, "But where were you yesterday?"
evilox.com
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"Some days I wake up bitchy--other days I just let her sleep."
My husband, Bud
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AND NOW A BONUS POEM (which I didn’t write):

GOOD MORNING POEM
                     

 








I woke early one morning,
The earth lay cool and still
When suddenly a tiny bird
Perched on my window sill.

It sang a song so lovely
So carefree and so gay,
That slowly all my troubles
Began to slip away.

 It sang of far off places
Of laughter and of fun.
It seemed its very trilling
Brought up the morning sun.

I stirred beneath the covers,
Crept slowly out of bed,
Then gently shut the window
And crushed its f***ing head.

I'm not a morning person!



I had a little trouble waking up this morning.
Bud claims I was snoring:
Click here.



















Even Irving Berlin agreed with me:

There should be a better way to start each day instead of waking up every morning----fishducky


 



24 comments:

  1. Funny...I used to be a morning person when I worked...now I'm retired and I just don't seem to be able to function in the morning. The hubs on the other hand...his feet hit the floor, his mouth kicks into gear and off he goes. He was the one, when we worked, that could barely walk a straight line first thing in the morning. Life just isn't fair lol.

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    1. I think that a morning person is not legally permitted to marry another morning person!!

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  2. Delightful. I'm an early morning person, but my daughter is not. My youngest and I had an agreement when she was a teenager. I was not to talk to her until she was dressed and ready to go out the door to school.

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    1. That probably saved you from being a victim of matricide!!

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  3. I was going to say that I understand as I am also not a morning person, but apparently you knew that. I didn't even remember my rant until I was part way through it.

    I think most of the world does not understand us late risers.

    Just shake them awake at 1 am and they would get it.

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    Replies
    1. That's not the only thing about me the world doesn't understand!!

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  4. I am one of those disgustingly cheerful early risers. I have great sympathy for those who aren't ( perhaps because I am so disgustingly cheerful) and could chuckle at your post.

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  5. I've always been one of those annoying morning persons who starts singing shortly after my feet hit the floor. My hubby is NOT a morning person, so I learned a long time ago to keep the merriment out of his earshot until well after he crawls out of bed.

    A fun post! That video about the snoring mouse didn't work because of copyright issues. (I don't even remember sending it to you.)

    Happy weekend!

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    Replies
    1. I stole the video a long time ago--I just replaced it!!

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  6. I love the cartoon about getting up at the crack of dawn. Actually, I'm definitely a morning person. By late afternoon the day is over for me. All my creativity comes before noon.

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    Replies
    1. We could use the same day--I'll take the second half!!

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  7. I was a night owl all my life...until menopause. Then I was an awake most of the time owl sleeping ridiculously crazy hours. Started taking melatonin and became more of a morning person--to me anyways. Now I function best sleeping from 12-1am till 8-9am. Not that it works out that way all the time--LOL! But the last three years (?) are as close to being a morning person as I have ever been in 63 years. Feels strange to actually feel I've slept the day away if I get up at 10:30. Like I was taken over by pod people!

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    Replies
    1. You have about the same sleep hours as I do now!!

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  8. I am a morning person. A quiet morning person, but what energy I have is definitely morning energy. My partner given his druthers springs out of bed at the crack of noon... Sometimes I feel that we should make an appointment to meet when we are in the same (mental and emotional) time zone.

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    1. Bud used to stay in bed in the morning watching TV & making phone calls--Until he realized he was about am inch away from being MURDERED!!

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  9. I'm not too bad once I get out of bed. My husband is the monster in the picture. I just avoid him for about a half hour.

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  10. I used to wake up at 4am, sleepwalk through breakfast and wander off to work so I could pretend to be cheery and awake by 6am at the checkout, then I'd get home and go straight back to sleep. My "real" day started just after lunch when I woke up properly.
    Love the snoring duck.

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  11. I love my mornings! Definitely the best time of the day. Just give me some coffee and breakfast and I'm ready to roll.

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Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.