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Friday, January 2, 2015

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE STUPIDITY OF IDIOTS




I don't think my writing anything would improve this post or make it funnier.  I'll just let it speak for itself (with, perhaps, an occasional comment):

First, a joke; the rest is true:


There once was a "smart criminal," a "not that smart criminal," and an all-around "not smart at all criminal." They were going to cross the Sahara Desert to get away from the police. The "smart criminal" says, "meet here in an hour with something useful to cross the desert with!" Later on an hour passes. The "smart criminal" says I brought some ice packs to keep our heads cool, the "not so smart criminal" says I brought a pail of water to keep us hydrated. The "not smart at all criminal" says, "I brought a car door so I can roll the window down when it gets hot!"
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"A bungling burglar was caught red-handed trying to loot a house when police were already inside interviewing a victim of another crime. Darren Kimpton, whose counsel described his offending as ‘clumsy’ and ‘pathetic’, had planned to steal items and sell them to buy Christmas gifts for his elderly parents."
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A woman in Germany just knocked off a pharmacy with her knockers. 
The recent mother, described by police as "robust," and renamed by me as "RoboBust," decided to turn her maternity leave into a maternity thieve when she walked into a pharmacy and asked to buy a breast pump. She paid for the $25 pump with a bill worth almost ten times that amount and then lifted her shirt, pulled out a boob, and sprayed the pharmacist in the face. 

According to The Local, staff and customers begged the lactating lady to holster her squirt gun, but she continued milking it as she rummaged through a display case and cash register.
After a final squirt, the woman made a hasty getaway. The pharmacist noticed only about $125 missing from the register. 
She didn't even steal the breast pump, probably to save that milk for her next crime. Breast vs. bottle feeding is a controversial topic among parenting experts, but as any good thief will tell you, mammo ammo is really only effective when it comes directly from the nipple. 
Police say the woman was speaking in an unrecognizable language and described her behavior as "almost unbelievable."
Milk. It also does a robbery good.






I've shown you this guy before:


Some have just been arrested,
although they may have been difficult to identify:

















Some are naturally photogenic:



"I needed money to buy a belt, Officer!!"

"I'm so hungry!!"

And some don't really mean to be criminals;
they are just dumb!!


Thank you, Susan (http://susan-swiderski.blogspot.com)--this is my favorite!!

Not a criminal--just stupid:

























I have no comment on these two:




In case you have another laugh or two left,
here are some cartoons;

















There are no stupid questions. But there are a lot of inquisitive idiots----fishducky

 







7 comments:

  1. Truth can sure be stranger than fiction!!
    Great jokes, too. :)

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  2. If you like that kind of stuff, you OUGHT to read the Darwin Awards. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I LOVE the Darwin awards!! Here are 2 posts I wrote about them: http://fishducky.blogspot.com/2014/10/putting-fun-back-in-funeral.html
      http://fishducky.blogspot.com/2012/08/darwin-awards.html

      Delete
  3. How the heck do you stab someone with a squirrel? Did she have it all laid out in the freezer just waiting for the right moment?
    "Get out of the car" has to be my favourite this week.
    There is a website somewhere, my daughter and I used to view it often, devoted to stupid criminals, like the one who showed his licence so he could steal beer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was actually a piece of a broken ceramic squirrel, but it's much funnier without the explanation!!

      Delete

Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.