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Monday, February 9, 2015

FISHDUCKY'S FRACTURED FAIRY TALES IN 50 WORDS OR LESS


Friday was our 60th anniversary.
If you missed my post about it, click here. 
Our kids took a group us out to dinner & had this cake made.
It looks exactly like us!!



They also made us a video.
Don't tell Nameless I'm posting it.
She doesn't read my posts so let's keep it our little secret.
to see it, click here.

Today's post:





SLEEPING BEAUTY
Once upon a time a beautiful young girl took a bite out of an apple that had a curse on it.  She could only be awakened by the kiss of her true love.  She had been asleep for years &, of course, hadn't brushed her teeth.  Prince Charming bent over to kiss her, got a whiff of her breath & left.  She’s still asleep!!


SNOW WHITE & THE SEVEN DWARFS
While wandering through the woods, a nubile young thing came across the house where seven dwarfs lived.  She asked them if she could stay if she cleaned the house, cooked & performed other services for them.  She serviced them all & to this day, Grumpy is no longer grumpy!!



CHICKEN LITTLE
Something hit Chicken Little in the head, so she assumed the sky was falling.  She warned Ducky Lucky, Goosey Lucy & all her other friends.  On their way to tell the king the sky finished falling & killed them all!!



HUMPTY DUMPTY
A hard boiled egg was sitting on a wall & rolled off.  His shell cracked but the rest of him was still edible.  He was chopped, mixed with mayonnaise & celery & made into a delicious egg salad.



HANSEL & GRETEL
A brother & sister were walking & found a witch’s house, which was made of candy.  They ate the porch & then reported her to the building department, which made her tear it down because it wasn’t up to code.


RAPUNZEL
A lovely girl with unbelievably long hair was imprisoned in a tower.  The only way someone could visit was to have her drop her hair out the window & then climb up it.  A handsome prince did that & they fell in love.  When he came back, he asked her to let her hair down so he could climb again.  She said she couldn’t because she hadn’t been able to resist the discount she was offered on a postcard from Super Cuts.  That was several years ago & her hair only now reaches her shoulders.


THE UGLY DUCKLING
One day a mother duck laid a whole bunch of eggs.  When they hatched, they were all adorable except one.  When his brothers & sisters made fun of him & called him ugly because of his long neck, he told them he was a swan & would be handsome as an adult.  When he grew up, he eventually realized he was just an ugly duck with a long neck.


THE GINGERBREAD MAN
A crazy cookie was running through the streets yelling, "Run, run, run, as fast as you can.  You can't catch me--I'm the Gingerbread Man!!"  He was wrong--& delicious!!


JACK & THE BEANSTALK
Jack, one child of a large family, took a cow into town to sell it to buy food for his many sisters & brothers.  Instead, he traded it for some magic beans which his mother angrily threw out.  The next day he climbed a beanstalk which had magically grown overnight.  He encountered a giant who ate him.  Fortunately, with him gone, his mother could afford to feed the remaining children.


GOLDILOCKS
A blonde broke into the home of three bears & ate their porridge.  She then took a nap in one of their three beds.  The bears came home & found her sleeping.  They immediately called the police, who arrested her.  She had a jury trial, was found guilty of criminal trespass & is now serving 10 to 20 years in the state prison. 



























AND A POEM :

JACK AND JILL
Jack and Jill went up the hill,
They each had a buck and a quarter.
They both fell down,
And I don’t know what happened,
But Jill came home with $2.50.


Doctors say that your attention span is like a muscle that can be strengthened. I didn't read the rest of the article because I saw a shiny thing----Conan O'Brien (& fishducky)


 



22 comments:

  1. Congratulations on 60 years of marriage! Enjoyed video --what a fine family.

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  2. Congratulations on 60 years of marriage. Loved the video, and see where your beautiful family get their looks and charm from.
    Really liked your fairy stories too - a decided improvement on the originals.
    And always love Calvin.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually, some of them take after Bud!!

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  3. I'll bet you were all teary eyed during that video....I was. Especially love the 'Hell freezing over' part lol.

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    Replies
    1. A little, MAYBE--that was my son in Connecticut!!

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  4. Loved the video. You guys are such an amazing couple Your family is lovely. My daughter was so overwhelmed.
    I think that you have been as stylish and poised in your youth as funny and witty you are today.
    Congratulations to the both of you ! God Bless.

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    Replies
    1. Stylish & poised; not so much--funny; I hope so!!

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  5. These are the tales that I wanted to read instead of that happy-ever-after junk.

    Congrats on 60!

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    Replies
    1. These are far more likely to have been true--& thank you!!

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  6. The video is thoughtful for your celebration, Fran. Thanks for my chuckles again...love the one with the piano falling.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That one almost didn't make it into the post!!

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  7. Love your fractured fairy tales but the video from your family--OMG! Priceless! Thanks for sharing and I won't tell Nameless. ;)

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    Replies
    1. Yes, I pinky swear!
      Love the cake, too, BTW. :)

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  8. Great video, but then it should be, it took 60 years to make it.

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    Replies
    1. Something worth doing is worth doing well!!

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    2. Besides, Matt told his kids that if they didn't send their videos on time, they'd have to deal with the wrath of Aunt Nameless!!

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  9. I love the video. I had no idea Nameless could be so cool. Now I know why you don't want to replace her with me, but I would still like to be an addition, like maybe a rumpus room. I have to go now. I might cry. Just a little. Not much at all. A tear. One tear rolling down the cheek. I don't know how actors do that.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think a drop of glycerin in your eye might do it!!

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    2. That makes sense. I don't know why I didn't think of it.

      Delete

Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.