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Friday, February 20, 2015

WAITER, THERE'S A HAIR IN MY SOUP & IT'S 30 FEET LONG!!



(From my book, "Fishducky's Fables")


A long time ago, a young couple was eagerly awaiting the birth of their first child.  The father was returning from the 7-11, where he had gone to buy ice cream and pickles to satisfy his wife’s cravings, when he was accosted by a witch.  She demanded his unborn child.  When he refused, she threatened him.  She asked, “How’d you like to be the first Octodad?”  He still refused.  She said, “I can make things rough for you, you know.   I could have your wife dropping a litter every time you turned around.  How’d you like to be the father on ‘347 Kids and Counting’?  Think about the wedding expenses, not to mention college tuition.  Pampers alone would put you in the poorhouse!”  He was terribly frightened and he agreed.

A baby girl was born and immediately taken by the witch.  She named her Rapunzel after her grandmother, Ethel.  (So she had a few mental problems--I didn’t make this stuff up!)  She was a beautiful child with a lovely singing voice and blond hair which would not quit.  The witch hoped to someday get her on America’s Got Talent and, when she was seven or eight years old, put her in a tower in the forest until she was ready for an audition.  This tower had no door or staircase and only one window.  Fortunately for the witch, building codes were not in effect at that time.

For years, each day Rapunzel would practice her singing.  Each evening, the witch would bring her supper.  The witch would stand under the window and call out, “Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair, so that I may climb the golden stair.”  Upon hearing these words, Rapunzel would wrap her long, fair hair around a hook beside the window, dropping it down to the witch, who would then climb up the hair to Rapunzel's tower room.

One day, a handsome prince rode through the forest and heard Rapunzel singing from the tower. Enchanted by her lovely voice, he searched for the girl and discovered the tower, but was, of course, unable to enter. He returned often, listening to her beautiful singing, and one day he saw the witch visit and heard her call and watched her climb, and thus learned how to gain access to Rapunzel.  When the witch left, he called out, “Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your mop, so I can climb up to the top.”  She did, and up he went.  It was love at first sight.

He came again the next week, but he was feeling poorly.  He called out, “Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your tresses, or I will fall and I hate messes.”  Again, their visit was magical, but he left early because of his health.  As soon as his doctor permitted it, he returned and called out, “Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your locks; I no longer have the chicken pox.”  He asked her to marry him and she said “You betcha!”

The very next day he was back.  He called out, “Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your braid, I have a minister I’ve already paid.”  They were married and climbed out of the tower on bedsheets that they tied together.

When the witch returned that evening, Rapunzel was gone and she never saw her again.  The townspeople say when the wind is just right, you can hear the ghost of the witch calling out, “Rapunzel, Rapunzel, I’ll be back later, please put in an elevator!”










I just want people to accept me for who I pretend to be----fishducky

 



14 comments:

  1. It's a shame that I didn't name The Hurricane "Ethel." It slides so sweetly off the tongue, as I'm sure her boyfriend does.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. I NOW have a mental image of him sliding off her tongue!!

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  2. Rapunzel in a whole new light this morning. Ethel? Really? Saw a bit of the witch and Rapunzel recently in Out of the Woods....just not the same.

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    1. I'm pretty sure they made up a new version!!

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  3. And the Prince became the first rap star.

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    1. He was the Prince formerly known as Prince!!

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  4. Ha! I figured it was just a matter of time until Rapunzel went punk.

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  5. I always like that story but you made it into a movie or television series.
    Alway funny.
    Merle...........

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  6. Love Rapunzel in the morning; reminds me of myself when it is humid.

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  7. I love this story... the hair in the food, not so much. :)

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    1. Maybe if it were less than 30 feet long...?

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