(I wish I could take credit for this, but it was written by Morty Storm)
Everybody who has a dog
calls him "Rover" or "Boy." I call mine "Sex."
He's a great pal, but he has caused me a great deal of embarrassment.
When I went to city hall to
renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like a license for Sex. He
said, "I'd like one too!"
Then, I said, "But
this is a dog." He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then, I said,
"You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was 9 years old." He
winked and said, "You must have been quite a kid."
When I got married and went
on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a
room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex.
He said, "You don't
need a special room. As long as you pay your bill, we don't care what you
do." I said, "Look, you don't seem to understand. Sex keeps me awake
at night." The clerk said, "Funny; I have the same problem."
One day, I entered Sex in a
contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant
asked me why I was just standing there, looking disappointed. I told him I had
planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold my own
tickets. "But you don't understand," I said, "I had hoped to
have Sex on TV." He said, "Now that cable is all over the place, it's
no big deal anymore."
When my wife and I
separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your
honor, I had Sex before I was married." The judge said, "The
courtroom isn't a confessional. Stick to the case, please."
Then, I told him that after
I was married, Sex left me. He said, "Me too."
Last night, Sex ran off
again. I spent hours looking all over town for him. A cop came over to me and
asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4 o'clock in the
morning?" I told him that I was looking for Sex.
We had a cat who loved corn on the cob.
ReplyDeleteLots of smiles today - thank you.
And that small fry who got sat upon didn't look at all happy. Tit for tat I suspect...
When you tell a dog to sit, perhaps you should specify where!!
DeleteDogs are the best.
ReplyDeleteBetter than a lot of people I know!!
DeleteI've heard the sex gag before but not most of the dog videos. That one of the short dog slamming into the hedge is a hoot.
ReplyDeleteR
Did you notice he does it every time--you'd think he'd learn!!
DeleteLoved these and got a special giggle out of the math homework and that puppy had swaddling down pat. I will never look at a dog dreaming the same way.
ReplyDeleteThink I now know enough potential problems to not name a dog Sex:))
There is a VERY old movie, "Mr. 880", where he named his dog "Please". It would be nicer to call him in public with that name!!
DeleteLove the short videos! OMG! And some great cartoons, too. You made my morning. :)
ReplyDeleteI wish I could warm things up for you!! (Check your email.)
DeleteVery funny, Fran....I especially like the little kid walking through the water while the dog waits. My Polly would have been long gone!
ReplyDeleteHe is a VERY well trained dog!!
DeleteI often feel like that smaller dog landing in the hedge instead of sailing over it.
ReplyDeleteThat must smart!!
DeleteLove the multi tasking dogs. These are all great, lots of smiles here today.
ReplyDeleteI savor your sweet smile!!
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