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Wednesday, March 25, 2015

A DOG NAMED SEX



(I wish I could take credit for this, but it was written by Morty Storm)
Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy." I call mine "Sex." He's a great pal, but he has caused me a great deal of embarrassment.
When I went to city hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I'd like one too!"
Then, I said, "But this is a dog." He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then, I said, "You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was 9 years old." He winked and said, "You must have been quite a kid."
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex.
He said, "You don't need a special room. As long as you pay your bill, we don't care what you do." I said, "Look, you don't seem to understand. Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Funny; I have the same problem."
One day, I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there, looking disappointed. I told him I had planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold my own tickets. "But you don't understand," I said, "I had hoped to have Sex on TV." He said, "Now that cable is all over the place, it's no big deal anymore."
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your honor, I had Sex before I was married." The judge said, "The courtroom isn't a confessional. Stick to the case, please."
Then, I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said, "Me too."
Last night, Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?" I told him that I was looking for Sex.

My case comes up Friday.


Some more funny stuff:




 














If I had a dollar for every time I got distracted, I wish I had a puppy----fishducky














16 comments:

  1. We had a cat who loved corn on the cob.
    Lots of smiles today - thank you.
    And that small fry who got sat upon didn't look at all happy. Tit for tat I suspect...

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    1. When you tell a dog to sit, perhaps you should specify where!!

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    1. Better than a lot of people I know!!

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  3. I've heard the sex gag before but not most of the dog videos. That one of the short dog slamming into the hedge is a hoot.
    R

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    1. Did you notice he does it every time--you'd think he'd learn!!

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  4. Loved these and got a special giggle out of the math homework and that puppy had swaddling down pat. I will never look at a dog dreaming the same way.
    Think I now know enough potential problems to not name a dog Sex:))

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    1. There is a VERY old movie, "Mr. 880", where he named his dog "Please". It would be nicer to call him in public with that name!!

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  5. Love the short videos! OMG! And some great cartoons, too. You made my morning. :)

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    1. I wish I could warm things up for you!! (Check your email.)

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  6. Very funny, Fran....I especially like the little kid walking through the water while the dog waits. My Polly would have been long gone!

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  7. I often feel like that smaller dog landing in the hedge instead of sailing over it.

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  8. Love the multi tasking dogs. These are all great, lots of smiles here today.

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Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.