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Friday, March 27, 2015

NEVER BELIEVE ANYONE WHO SAYS, "THIS IS GOING TO HURT ME MORE THAN IT HURTS YOU" ( A PAINFUL POST)




While trying (unsuccessfully) to make a left turn I got T-boned by another car.  The paramedics (Are ALL paramedics cute?   It may be a job requirement.) thought I had two broken wrists.  It turned out only one was actually broken.  I now have a 7” plate in my arm.  My new Mustang, which had less than 1,000 miles on it, suffered extensive damage.  It’s all better now.  The paramedics caused me more (mental) pain than the accident did.  They took scissors & cut off my brand new black leather jacket.  I loved that jacket!   I’d bought it in a consignment shop, but it was new to me. 
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I broke my arm last April (I fell down in my hallway) & it didn't heal properly, so until very recently I wasn't able to pull up my own underwear without a great deal of pain.  My son, my husband & I were talking about online dating.  I said I should put my name out there with the description, "Old broad who can't pull up her own underwear." Blake thought that should get me several hits!!
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"My dad's a writer. His favorite expression is 'The pen's mightier than the sword,' which I believed for a long time. Until I moved into the city, and I got into a fight with this guy. He cut me up real bad, and I drew a mustache on his face...and then I wrote him a nasty letter." --Kevin Brennan
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 "I love my dentist. He has an X ray of his family in the waiting room." --Robert G. Lee
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How long can insects live without their heads?

Some insects, after their head is severed, may live for as much as a year. They react automatically to light, temperature, humidity, chemicals, and other stimuli.  We all know some people like that, don't we?
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Not really, since they actually don't have a central nervous system, which in effect, is the brain. So there is no pain reflex such as humans have. If lobsters felt pain that acutely, they would hardly amputate or spontaneously drop their claws, both of which have been observed by researchers.
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The little toe: completely useless except to remind you that your pain sensory receptors still work.
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Why are men with pierced ears better prepared for marriage?
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. --Rita Rudner

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A childbirth instructor says it's not pain that women feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.


Has anyone besides me had the urge during childbirth to yell, "Get this thing out of me!!"?  (It still counts if you yelled the same thing nine months earlier.)

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A blonde told her doctor that she was really worried because every part of her body hurt.
The doctor looked concerned and said, "Show me where."
The blonde touched her own arm and screamed, "Ouch!"
Then she touched her leg and screamed, "Ouch!"
She touched her nose and cried, "Ouch!"
She looked at her doctor and said, "See? It hurts everywhere!"
The doctor laughed and said, "Don't worry; it's not serious. You've just got a broken index finger."
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I’m not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain. --George Carlin
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I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper. --Emo Phillips
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A man has been in a lot of pain, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results. 

"I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left." 

"Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "Give it to me straight, Doc. How long have I got?" 

"Ten," the doctor says sadly. 

"Ten?" the man asks. "Ten years? Months? Weeks? What?" 

"Nine..." 



Have you ever had sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia?
I bet you have!!
Click here to find out why.

Some of them have had it.
Click here to see who I mean.

How an actor prepares himself to show pain:














If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong----fishducky









25 comments:

  1. It would be a great pain if we are not able to do our work by ourselves. Take care!!

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  2. I never have had sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia. I don't eat much ice-cream either.
    I am so sorry to hear you have been the wars again.
    Look after yourself. Rather better than you have been doing...
    Loved the pain jokes. Thank you.

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    Replies
    1. The car accident was 2 years ago & it was last year that I broke my arm--I'm all better now!!

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  3. Replies
    1. I hope that's with the brain freeze & NOT the accidents!!

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  4. Good to know those accidents were a while ago. You have been on an ugly roll. May this year be ouch free. I understand that not being able to pull up panties though. Torn rotator cuff gives the same results.
    Don't believe it about the lobsters though. I have heard the noise they make trying to get out of the boiling water. It ain't pretty and I won't eat them today.

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    Replies
    1. I had forgotten about my rotator cuff surgery many years ago--& I STILL eat lobsters!!

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  5. Fran, you are a certified crazy lady! That last one was probably the funniest, although I think I've seen it before. Great stories. Have a fabulous weekend.

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    Replies
    1. You may have noticed that I'm a recycler!!

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  6. This really made me laugh! The pregnancy one... HAHA!
    Have a wonderful weekend F!

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    Replies
    1. Loved your post today--keep feeling BETTER!!

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  7. And I thought acting was easy!

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  8. I love ice cream, but I can't remember ever having brain freeze. Maybe that's proof that my brain doesn't get enough oxygen--LOL! ;)

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    Replies
    1. My brain gets plenty of oxygen (through the holes in my head) & I STILL get brain freeze!!

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  9. I don't get brain freeze. I remember seeing people on TV shows taking a bite of icecream then slapping their hand to their forehead, saying ow! brain freeze! and I never understood it.It doesn't happen to me or anyone else in my family.
    As for that rate your pain chart, every time my doctor says how's your pain on a one to ten scale, I always say fifteen, because after I've hobbled into his office holding every support along the way, he should be able to see for himself how bad it is.

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    Replies
    1. On a pain scale of 1-10, 15 should mean death!!

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    2. He knows me well. When I say 15 he prescribes the strong stuff. I haven't needed any since I gave up working. I get by with hot water bottles and panadeine.

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  10. The only time I ever got brain freeze was from drinking a frozen coke too fast. And sometimes, when I write. Then my brain has a way of freezing up and zoning out.

    According to my doctor, my problem is my threshold for pain is too high. By the time I finally complain about something, I'm half-dead. (Not good!)

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    Replies
    1. At least half is better than all the way!!

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  11. All funny, especially that last line about sex being a pain in the ass. Have a great weekend.

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    Replies
    1. Never thought about it that way before, did you?

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  12. I think if some one remembers all those funny jokes about pain they will hurt less in case they get hurt somehow.
    I am not sure if the first paragraph is about you, you know the one with broken writes.
    If it is I am so sorry.
    Take care of yourself.

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    Replies
    1. The first TWO paragraphs were indeed about me--& TRUE!!

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Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.