Tuesday, April 28, 2015


(A reworked post from October 2012)

           My friend Bonnie & I were playing golf behind a very slow group of men.  She exasperatedly asked me why it is that men will spend 10 minutes looking for a lost ball, but they won’t take 5 seconds to find your “G spot”!!

    Here’s another of hers: Bonnie & my very prim & proper (appearing) mother-in-law, Audrey, were among our guests at a formal luncheon.  I don’t think they had met before.  They were sitting next to each other.  Something gooey, chocolaty & decadently delicious was served for dessert.  Bonnie tasted it & said without thinking, as she was prone to do, “My God, this is better than sex!!” & was instantly embarrassed because of who her luncheon partner was.  She fell in love with Audrey when she smiled & replied, “Yes, it is--& you don’t have to wash up afterwards, either!!”

            Then there’s my friend, Bernice.  Her husband had Alzheimer’s & had become very argumentative.  He had become nearly impossible to live with.  Shortly after his death she & I were marketing together.  We were at the meat counter.  She told me she was buying a steak for dinner.  She said that she had had steak the previous night, but she felt like having steak again & now that she only had herself to be concerned about, she could have whatever she wanted.  Bernice looked at me & said, “There MUST be a downside to being a widow, but so far I haven’t found what it is!!”

And I certainly can’t forget Barbara!  She & I sometimes used to act like a lesbian couple.  WE ARE BOTH STRAIGHT!!  We were in WalMart & had our purchases in the same cart.  I unloaded mine & then helped her unload hers.  She said, coyly, “You’re so strong & powerful—thank you!!”  I lowered my voice & said, “You’re welcome, Honey.”  I paid for my things, loaded both hers & mine into the cart & told her I was taking it outside to have a cigarette while she paid for her stuff.  Apparently she didn’t hear me because she looked around & asked the cashier where her things were.  The cashier said, “Your—uh, your, uh—your FRIEND took them out!!”

Barbara & I were playing golf when I slipped & broke my left wrist.  After finally convincing her that my wrist really hurt & that it wasn’t that I wanted to quit because I was playing poorly, she drove me to the ER.  She was in the room with me when the doctor told me I’d have to remove my engagement & wedding ring because my hand would swell up.  I took them off & handed them to Barb who tearfully said, “You’ve been promising me these rings forever & you had to break your wrist for me to get them!”  The look that passed between the doctor & the nurse was priceless!! 

Lots of cartoons today:


Money can't buy friends, but you can get a better class of enemy----Spike Milligan (& fishducky)



  1. I read that a guy went into a changing closet at a department store and a few minutes later he called out: There's no toilet paper in here!

  2. Still chuckling over the G spot. Also the gal basically talking to her self reminded me of my cousin who once continued talking to me for ten minutes after the line went dead.

  3. I've checked between the F-spot and the H-spot and I still can't find it!

  4. I love your two women cartoons, Fran. So funny! Thanks for my Tuesday giggles.

  5. "Nice to meet you."
    "Hold on...aren't we friend already?"


  6. Nothing beats a friend with the same sense of humor!! :):)

  7. I don't know that I'd say chocolate is better than sex, but it's darn close.

    1. Six of one, a half dozen of the other!!


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