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Wednesday, April 8, 2015

WHAT A STRANGE THING TO SAY!!






And what strange laws these legislatures made!!


A 2007 law in China on the “Management Measures for the Reincarnation of Living Buddhas in Tibetan Buddhism” made it illegal for Buddhist monks to reincarnate without prior government approval. Or, at least, for religious groups to recognize a Buddha’s new “soul child” following the passing of the previous Buddha without first getting government permission.

The Iranian government issued a list of appropriate male hairstyles in 2010, which prohibited ponytails, mullets, and hair that was too spiky.

It’s not sure how they would prosecute you for breaking this law, but: dying in the Houses of Parliament is technically not allowed because anyone who dies inside is entitled to a state funeral. And clearly, the government doesn’t want to deal with many state funerals.

It may seem strange that in a country where cities like Tokyo are renowned for their nightlife, dancing in clubs is illegal, but it’s true. A law passed in 1948 to protect “public morals” has meant that, technically, dancing in public venues is only permissible at specially licensed establishments, and only until midnight. Some lawmakers are currently working to repeal the law in preparation for the 2020 Tokyo Olympics.

A 2011 law, known as the “shutdown” law, blocked children under the age of 16 from playing video games online between the hours of midnight and 6 a.m. Recently, authorities have decided to show leniency, and will lift the ban in response to a parental request. The ban was meant to help curb a gaming addiction among members of the South Korean public.

You can't sing Frank Sinatra's "My Way" in the Philippines. OK, so this is technically a de facto ban and not actually legislated. But many karaoke bars have banned the song, and many patrons would refuse to sing it even if they did carry it. Why? The song has led to at least six murders, stemming from arguments over, some believe, the “arrogant” tone of the tune. The phenomenon has even been dubbed the “My Way Killings.”

Despite being a symbol of Monaco to many around the world, the Monte Carlo Casino does not actually allow citizens of Monaco to enter and gamble there. This supposedly dates back to the casino’s establishment in the 1860s, when Prince Charles III was afraid that citizens of the principality would lose all their money there. It was perfectly fine for foreigners to do so, of course.

Blue jeans are illegal in North Korea. Not black jeans. Just blue jeans. Apparently the color is associated with the United States, so North Korea banned them.

Time travel is banned in China. Well, movies and shows about time travel. Actual time travel isn’t possible yet, unless China knows something the rest of us don’t. Anyway, apparently Chinese authorities felt that representations of time travel resulted in frivolous depictions of “serious history,” so they decided to ban it.


No lip-synching in Turkmenistan, at least at large cultural events and on television programming. In 2005, then-President Saparmurat Niyazov banned lip-synching in order to preserve “true culture.” He had also banned opera and ballet, deeming them “unnecessary.”
BuzzFeed 
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Top 10 Female rejection lines...

1. I think of you as a brother. 
Translation: You give me the creeps. 

2. There's a slight difference in our ages. 
Translation: I may as well be dating my dad.
 
3. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way. 
Translation: I don't want to be seen in public with a dork like you. 

4. My life is too complicated right now. 
Translation: I'm busy seeing other guys. Who are you again?
 
5. I've got a boyfriend. 
Translation: I'd rather be with my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's.
 
6. I don't date men where I work. 
Translation: I wouldn't date you if you were in the same solar system, much less the same building. 

7. It's not you, it's me. 
Translation: It's you


8. I'm concentrating on my career. 
Translation: Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job.
is better than dating you.
 
9. I'm saved, so my heart belongs to God. 
Translation: I've sworn off men like you.
 
10. Let's be friends. 
Translation: I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and go out with. I appreciate the male perspective. 

Top 10 Male rejection lines...


1. I think of you as a sister. 
Translation: You're ugly. 

2. There's a slight difference in our ages. 
Translation: You're ugly.
 
3. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way. 
Translation: You're ugly.
 
4. My life is too complicated right now. 
Translation: You're ugly. 

5. I've got a girlfriend. 
Translation: You're ugly.
 
6. I don't date women where I work. 
Translation: You're ugly.

7. It's not you, it's me. 
Translation: You're ugly.
 
8. I'm concentrating on my career. 
Translation: You're ugly.
 
9. I'm saved, so my heart belongs to God. 
Translation: You're ugly.


10. Let's be friends. 
Translation: You're totally ugly.
nairaland.com
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If I wrote a book called “THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF SOMEONE ELSE”, do you think it would sell?
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The DA stared at the jury, unable to believe the "not guilty" verdict he'd just heard. Bitterly, he asked, "What possible excuse could you have for acquitting this man?" 

The foreman answered, "Insanity." 


The attorney responded, still incredulous, "I could understand that. But, all twelve of you?"
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He: "Why are you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong hand?"

She: "I married the wrong man!!"
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One Sunday in a Midwest city a young child was acting up during the morning worship hour. The parents did their best to maintain some sense of order in the pew but were losing the battle. Finally, the father picked the little fellow up and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out. 

Just before reaching the safety of the foyer the little one called loudly to the congregation, "Pray for me! Pray for me!"
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A woman was arrested for shop lifting. When she went before the judge he asked her, “What did you steal?” She replied: “a can of peaches.” The judge asked her why she had stolen them and she replied that she was hungry. The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied 5. The judge then said, “I will give you 5 days in jail.” 

Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment the woman’s husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something. The judge said, “What is it?”

The husband said, “She also stole a can of peas.”

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A very religious man lived right next door to an atheist. While the religious one prayed day in, day out, and was constantly on his knees in communion with his Lord, the atheist never even looked twice at a church. 

However, the atheist's life was good, he had a well-paying job and a beautiful wife, and his children were healthy and good-natured, whereas the pious man's job was strenuous and his wages were low, his wife was cheating on him and his kids wouldn't give him the time of the day. 

So one day, deep in prayer as usual, he raised his eyes towards heaven and asked: "Oh God, I honor you every day, I ask your advice for every problem and confess to you my every sin. Yet my neighbour, who doesn't even believe in you and certainly never prays, seems blessed with every happiness, while I go poor and suffer many an indignity.  Why is this?" And a great voice was heard from above ... 

"BECAUSE HE DOESN'T BOTHER ME ALL THE TIME." 



Lots of cartoons today;
lots of people & animals saying strange things:


















Everyone who leaves a comment is entitled to this:


This cat is cat a cat good cat way cat to cat keep cat an cat idiot cat busy cat for cat  20 cat seconds cat!!  Now read it all again without the word “cat”----fishducky 

 



17 comments:

  1. That blanket of guilt is very, very nice to snuggle into.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've always found mine to be warm & toasty!!

      Delete
  2. I read it without "cat" the first time.
    I think the husband of the 'can of peaches' woman should be very worried when she gets out of jail after dobbing her in over the can of peas!
    No Time Travel in China eh? Dr Who needs to be very careful when programming his TARDIS then.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You cat big cat showoff, cat you!!

      Delete
  3. Those laws are well thought out compared to some of the laws on the books in the south.
    I also like the rejection lines.
    R

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nobody ever you have to be able to THINK to get a law passed!!

      Delete
  4. Don't you know you can't say retarded anymore? Now you say idiot...which is what they used to call really stupid people before it was replaced by the more politically correct retarded. I just prefer "Dumb as a stump."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm sorry--I must be stupid--I mean idiotic--I mean retarded!! My dad had a disabled plate on his car. He always referred to it as a "retarded" plate.

      Delete
  5. Of course the one where the cat stayed awake for two whole hours almost made me spit coffee on my keyboard! LOL! Great post! They were all good! :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Fran, a great collection for our entertainment this morning. It must take you hours to prepare these hilarious posts!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All I can say is:
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HSJfkLXaayg

      Delete

  7. Thanks for the laughs.

    As for : If I wrote a book called “THE AUTOBIOGRAPHY OF SOMEONE ELSE”, do you think it would sell?

    Actually, several writers have penned famous autobiographies about someone else. Two that come to mind are "The Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas" by Gertrude Stein, and "The Autobiography of Malcolm X" by Alex Haley.

    Now I need to find someone to write MY autobiography.

    ReplyDelete
  8. You cat little cat dickens cat you!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MOI? Surely, you jest--I know, don't call you Shirley!!

      Delete

Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.