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Thursday, May 28, 2015

33 RULES OF LIFE, AS MURPHY & I UNDERSTAND THEM



According to George Nichols, another engineer who was present, Murphy, in frustration, blamed the failure on his assistant, saying, "If that guy has any way of making a mistake, he will." Nichols' account is that "Murphy's law" came about through conversation among the other members of the team. It was condensed to "If it can happen, it will happen," and named for Murphy in mockery of what Nichols perceived as arrogance on Murphy's part. Others, including Edward Murphy's surviving son Robert Murphy, deny Nichols' account, and claim that his father's statement was along the lines of "If there's more than one way to do a job, and one of those ways will result in disaster, then somebody will do it that way."



(Stolen borrowed from aracmax.com.)


1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

3. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.

4. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

5. Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?

6. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

7. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

8. Seen it all, done it all. Can't remember most of it.

9. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

10. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

11. He's not dead. He's electroencephalographically challenged.

12. She's always late. In fact, her ancestors arrived on the "Juneflower."

13. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

14. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

15. Honk if you love peace and quiet.

16. Pardon my driving, I'm reloading.

17. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular? 
18. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

19. It is hard to understand how a cemetery can raise its burial costs and blame it on the higher cost of living.

20. Just remember if it wasn't for gravity, we'd all fall off.

21. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

22. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.

23. You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

24. Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world population.

25. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

26. The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.

27. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking.

28. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

29. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in the dark.

30. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

31. It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.

32. Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

33.I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few. 




























The older I get, the more I think Murphy was an optimist----fishducky

 



18 comments:

  1. Love no 14 in particular.
    Some truthful, scary gems here. Thank you.

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  2. The location of your waiter cartoon is right on the money:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wouldn't have published it if it wasn't true!!

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  3. Very funny. You had me with the "standing in line" comment at the top. It made me think of the grocery store and the lines that appear to be short. One day, there was just one lady ahead of me, and she paid by counting out over $25 in dimes and nickles while I watched. I thought the clerk would strangle her!

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    Replies
    1. The clerk didn't, so I can assume you did!!

      Delete
  4. My ex thought I chose the slow line on purpose.

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  5. "The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong."

    I'm stealing that one because I believe it's accurate.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Replies
    1. I think your day may be easily made, but thanks!!

      Delete
  7. Hum, number 26 certainly is food for thought. Waiting may not be a virtue.

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    Replies
    1. My #1 prayer is, "God, grant me patience & do it NOW!!"

      Delete
  8. # 29(I think)--we have a flashlight in nearly ever drawer in every room. When one of us goes to use one, the batteries died some decade ago.

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    Replies
    1. You can bury them in a mass grave with ours, if you'd like!!

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  9. #30, so either way we're fu....er, screwed

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    Replies
    1. In the US, it's called the Internal Revenue SERVICE. When you take an animal to get her pregnant, you're having her serviced. A coincidence? I think not!!

      Delete

Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.