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Thursday, May 14, 2015

PEOPLE WHO WEAR GLASS SLIPPERS SHOULDN'T OWN THRONES





It's fairy tale week again (from my book, "Fishducky's Fables")!!



In a far away, long ago kingdom, Cinderella (a fairy tale name meaning “Beautiful face but big feet”) lived happily with her mother and father until her mother died.

Cinderella's father married a cold, cruel woman who had two daughters, Pigface and the equally lovely Wartynose.  When her father died, Cinderella's wicked stepmother turned her into a virtual servant in her own house.

Meanwhile, across town in the castle, the king felt that his son, the prince, should find a suitable bride and provide him with a required number of grandchildren.  He invited every eligible maiden in the kingdom to a fancy dress ball, where his son would be able to choose his bride. Cinderella had no suitable party dress for a ball, but her friends the mice and the birds lent a hand in making her one from fabric scraps they were able to find.  True, the style was lovely and the fit perfect, but the dress was unwearable due to the large number of bird droppings on it.  Piggy, Warty and Mommy Dearest each selected a designer gown from their large closets, had Cindy iron them, then called a cab and went to the ball.  Cindy was left at home alone to do her chores and she thought to herself, “This sucks!”

It was at this time that a creature appeared surrounded by a ball of stars.  When Cindy’s transition lenses adjusted to the sudden brightness, she saw that it was a fairy godmother.  Never having seen her before, Cindy assumed that she was there to visit her stepmother and told her that Mommy Dearest and the girls had gone to the ball.  Her fairy godmother said, “Who cares?  I’m here to see you!  Do you want to go to the ball, too?”  Cindy said that she would love to go, but that she hadn’t a thing to wear.  Her godmother asked, “Size 4, right?” and went back into the ball of stars, singing “Cinderelly. Cinderelly, Comb your hair and wash your belly”.  She came out with a gorgeous floor length gown and a pair of glass Jimmy Choo slippers to die for.  Cindy put on the outfit and felt like a princess, but then became sad again.  She said, “I don’t have cab fare to get me to the ball.”  Her fairy godmother said that news didn’t exactly come as a surprise and produced a Rolls Royce with a uniformed chauffeur.  She said, “Knock ‘em dead, kiddo!  I promised the prop department I’d get this stuff back to them around midnight, so come home early,” and she disappeared.

Cindy went to the ball and had a marvelous time.  Nobody recognized her, because she had also washed her face, and she danced almost every dance with the prince.  She didn’t realize how late it was getting and when she heard the clock begin to strike twelve, she ran out of the castle.  She stumbled on the stairs and one of her size 16 EEEE glass slippers fell off.  A guard found it later and brought it to the prince, who was frantic because Cindy had left so suddenly.  He asked, “Sire, shall we search the kingdom for the damsel whose foot fits this shoe?”  The prince said, “Forget it.  I must have been drunk.  Who would marry a woman with feet this size?  Our kids would look like they were wearing snowshoes.  Just dump it.”

Cindy went home and thanked her fairy godmother for a lovely evening.  A couple of years later she said goodbye to Mommy Dearest, Piggy and Warty and moved to the Pacific Northwest where she discovered a tribe of Sasquatch (also known as Bigfoot), was made their queen and lived happily ever after.













I imagine; therefore, I might be----fishducky

 



26 comments:

  1. I don't think glass slippers would be comfortable. They're inflexible, and what if you got a shard of glass in your foot? Ouch!

    Love,
    Janie

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    Replies
    1. She could have made them with Glad Wrap, but then her feet would sweat!!

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    2. Let's just stick to sandals or comfy slippers.

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  2. Glass slippers? Eeuw. Very few adult feet are pretty.
    Love, love, love the Cinderella themed party. Is it too late for me to have children?

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    Replies
    1. I think that when I had mine, it was ALREADY too late!!

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    2. Just borrow a half dozen kids for the party, then when you've had enough of the noise you can send them home again. (*~*)

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  3. Shoepidity - that's when a woman wears shoes that kill her feet, just because they make her look good.

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    Replies
    1. EXCELLENT word--it will be used by myself & others, I'm sure!!

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  4. Really, Transition lenses? Very funny with the EEEE slippers. I like Rick's word...shoepidity. Lot of that going around for sure.

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    Replies
    1. Yes, there are a LOT of shoepid people out there!!

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  5. Will all her shoes, I'm sure Mrs. C has some glass slippers somewhere.

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    Replies
    1. They'd be hard to find, being see-through & all!!

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  6. Poor Cindy....I'm glad she found some 'big foot' happiness in the end.

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  7. She ended up queen via a different route--LOL!
    Yes, who would want to wear hard glass slippers. Always thought her feet got sweaty and that is why she lost a shoe. ;)

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    Replies
    1. If they had fit her right, they probably wouldn't have fallen off!!

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  8. Love the big foot version. There is a lid for every pot.

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    1. And a big shoe for every big foot!!

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  9. I keep looking for Big Foot up here in the Northwest, but he's about as easy to spot as a fairytale princess.

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    Replies
    1. What would you do if you found him?

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  10. This was wonderful, I'm glad Cindy found her true Prince in the end.
    16EEEE wow!
    Love shoepidity

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    Replies
    1. I have a friend who wears a 14EEEE but he's 6' 2", about 225 pounds & MALE!!

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  11. “Cinderelly. Cinderelly, Comb your hair and wash your belly”.

    Heh, heh. That's my favorite part!

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    Replies
    1. My brother made up that song when he was 10 or 12!!

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Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.