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Tuesday, June 16, 2015

KISS A DUCK & CHANGE YOUR LUCK!!


Can you believe it?  An entire post about ducks!!

Do not get us angry

and do not continue reading if you are anatidaephobic.



emoji.ink lets you draw & write with emojis:


A duck walked into a bar and said to the bartender, "I'll have a beer". 
The bartender said, "Hey! Where did you come from?" 
The duck said, "I'm working the construction site across the street". 

The bartender said, "Well why are you working construction when you could be making millions in the circus?" 
And the duck asked, "What would the circus want with a bricklaying duck?"
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A woman walks into a bar with a duck and the bartender says, "Hey where'd you get the pig?" The woman says, "This isn't a pig.  It's a duck," & the bartender says, "I was talking to the duck!!"
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A man is driving a pick-up truck down the road with a bunch of ducks standing in the back. A police officer pulls over the driver, informs him that he is speeding and then asks him where he's going with all those ducks. The driver says that he doesn't know what to do with them anymore. The officer says, "Look, there's a zoo not far from here and that's where you should take them." The man thanks the officer and drives off with his ducks. 

The next day the officer again sees the same pick-up truck barreling down the road. This time, though, all the ducks in the back are wearing sunglasses. The officer pulls the driver over and says, "I thought I told you to take those ducks to the zoo!" "I did," said the driver, "but now they want to go to the beach!
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A man and a duck are walking down the street together. Suddenly the man notices a low-flying airplane coming right for them. The man yells “DUCK!!” and the duck looks back at the man with an angry face and yells “MAN!!
liveducks.com
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A duck goes into a drug store & asks for a Chap Stick.  The clerk says, “That’ll be $2.00.”  The duck says, “Just put it on my bill!!”
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A man walks into a doctor’s office with a duck stuck to his head.  The doctor tells him it's obvious what his problem is.  The duck says, "Yeah!!  How do I get this guy off my ass?” 
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Are you interested in a duck in a truck?
Click here.





Which do you think is sexier?
This?

or this?




Dubbed the world's largest rubber duck, this giant inflatable was created by Dutch artist Florentijn Hofman.

"The friendly, floating Rubber Duck has healing properties," Hofman said.  "It can relieve the world's tensions as well as define them."
The duck has appeared in Australia, Taiwan, China, Belgium, Japan, New Zealand, Brazil, Los Angeles and Pittsburgh.

How do you like this boat?

It's not always easy being a duck.
Years ago it was even harder for ducks and chickens:

We are often imitated:

Or used to decorate a car:




Or even hunted:


Some people are afraid of us:

We have our worries & concerns:

We are sold into slavery:

There are times we must resort to theft to survive:

But we must eat:
Sometimes we need medical attention:


We must protect ourselves:

Sure, there are times when we have to ask for help:





And sometimes we are helpful:

But we can be strong!!
If we put our minds to it, we can cross oceans:

Surf the highest wave:

And even be on a map:

Because:

But I still won't get into a pick-up game of basketball:






If it tastes funny, don't eat it. If it looks funny, call a doctor. If it is funny, it must have been something I wrote----fishducky

 





















30 comments:

  1. That was a brilliant duckyfied start to the day!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. That was a brilliant duckyfied start to the day!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I LOVE that giant rubber ducky! I get happy just thinking about him sailing the oceans bringing smiles to the world.
    The surfer duck on the waterfall edge is really cool.
    and I love your emoji.ink signature :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would LOVE to see that ducky in person!!

      Delete
  4. Duck post was interesting. Many sizes of ducks...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. From the babies to the big rubber one!!

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  5. You had every duck joke I've ever heard. What a scream.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There were actually a few I left out!!

      Delete
  6. Ba dump dum!!

    So many ducks, so few rim shots.

    "Get this guy off my ass" LOVE IT!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Those ducks on the road in Indonesia blow me away! I have seen that clip before a long time ago but I watched the whole thing again and am amazed again that more were still coming!!
    Love the duckling slide! And I never knew there were so many duck jokes. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That video showed approximately a hell of a lot of ducks!!

      Delete
  8. We have a duck race in Knoxville. You should be the guest of honor.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3IuoKH6fP0

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As long as I don't have to run...!!

      Delete
  9. Great post on the ducks....the little ones are so adorable.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Funny stuff. i had no idea the Americas looked so much like a duck.

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  11. I wonder there is any work in herding ducks?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That depends--are you a Border Collie?

      Delete
  12. That was just ducky.
    Merle..........

    ReplyDelete
  13. i love that surfing duck.
    The stampede is scary. Cannot believe those are ducks.
    How can any one eat a duck. Too cute to eat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. About the stampede--do you think they were going home for dinner (their own, I mean)?

      Delete
  14. Duck Duck Goose
    Don't ducks and geese poop a lot, as in nasty, slimy messy poop, and if you accidentally step in it your shoes are ruined? How are your vowel movements these days?

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I haven't been having any lately--I've been consonated!!

      Delete

Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.