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Tuesday, July 7, 2015

POINTS TO PONDER



Still, I've been thinking...


Some people are like Slinky’s . . . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs. 


Why is it that a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents? 

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal. 

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. 

How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? 

If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?

If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

If you try to fail and you succeed, which have you done? 

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Is there another word for synonym?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might clean them?

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

































If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons?----fishducky



 


14 comments:

  1. Some gems here. And I agree about the second oldest profession. Better paid than the oldest though.

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    Replies
    1. And when they retire, they get a pension!!

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  2. I'm that incredibly happy, non-thinking Savage Chicken. (*~*)

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  3. Too much thinking for me, it makes my head hurt.

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    Replies
    1. Take two aspirins & call me in the morning!!

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  4. I hear "What were you thinking" a lot.

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    Replies
    1. Probably followed by "You're a jerk!!"

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  5. That one about taxes is too funny to laugh at.

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  6. "if you're born again do you have two belly buttons?"

    I had to search my quotes notebook for this> "There are people coming to the door all the time trying to get me to change my religion and be "born again". Wouldn't being "born again" somehow imply that I didn't trust God to have done it right the first time?"

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    Replies
    1. Being born once, or again, SHOULD come with a warrantee!!

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  7. I think the monkeys and apes decided the up grade just had too many problems attached.

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Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.