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Thursday, September 10, 2015

I NEED AN ENGLISH TEACHER TO EXPLAIN FIXES (PRE & SUF) WHICH (CON)FUSE ME



(Reworked old reruns week--originally published 7-13-12)


Can you be quettish all by yourself or do you have to be coquettish?  If you can deplane or detrain, why can't you decopter or deship?  If you don't really care any more, will you argue lentlessly?  If you follow all the rules of good behavior, are you corrigible?  If there are two of you in the world, wouldn't you be bique instead of uni?  If you enroll in a class & then leave, why haven't you exrolled?  If a truce is called to a conflict, are the parties now merely flicted?  If you're not inane, inept or decrepit, why aren't you ane, ept or crepit?  If something makes sense, is it a sequitur?  Why do "flammable" & "inflammable" & "ravel" & "unravel" mean the same thing?  Isn't that a waste of words?  If you think about something & then decide it's correct, haven't you come to a proclusion instead of a con? Is it possible to be totally partial? And I didn’t even get to the suffixes!  Don't worry if you can't answer these questions. We can't ALL be brilliant!




My confusion with the English language isn't entirely my fault.  This is the kind of garbage music I listened to when I was a kid:

Here are some educational cartoons to look at while you rest your brain:



                











       Not to offend anyone, but I love this cartoon!!

How about some jokes?  This first one sort of goes with the last cartoon:

A mom & dad were worried about their son not wanting to learn math at the public school he was in, so they decided to send him to a strict Catholic school even though they were not of that faith.  After the first day of school, their son comes racing into the house, goes straight into his room & slams the door shut. Mom & dad are a little worried about this  & go to his room to see if he is okay. They find him sitting at his desk doing his homework. The boy keeps doing that for the rest of the year. At the end of the year the son brings home his report card & gives it to his mom & dad. Looking at it they see an A+ under math.  Mom & dad are very happy & ask the son, "What changed your mind about learning math?" The son looked his folks & said, "Well, on the first day when I walked into the classroom, I saw a guy nailed to the plus sign at the back of the room behind the teacher's desk & I knew they meant business."
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A school teacher injured his back & had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. He wore it under his shirt & it was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest class in the school. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible & then busied himself with desk work. The classroom became a bit unruly & he admonished them. This happened several times. While working at his desk, the strong breeze from the window made his tie flap annoyingly. He kept rearranging & rearranging the tie as the class become more & more unmanageable. Finally, becoming disgusted with the wayward tie, he stood up & took a big stapler off his desk & stapled the tie to his chest in several places. Discipline was not a problem from that day on.
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A little girl came home from school &  said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do." The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this ... by the way, what was it that you didn't do?" The little girl replied, "My homework."
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If you are not sympathetic, empathetic or apathetic, you’re probably just pathetic----fishducky

 


21 comments:

  1. And why on the days it is absolutely bucketing down don't we talk about it being mittent rain.
    And have you ever met someone who is 'gruntled'? An anti-onomatopeic word if ever I heard one.

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    Replies
    1. I've often wondered why onomatopoeia doesn't sound like what it means!!

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  2. Always delightful. It reminds me of the Windows 10 ad, where the kids aren't going to have to write, just talk to the computer. Really? I have Windows 10 now, but haven't yet gotten to the speaking part.

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    1. My computer & I are only on writing & printing --not speaking--terms!!

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  3. In school, I studied Latin, English, German, and French. And it still amazes me that I found English so easy to learn compared to the rest of them. In spite of all of the above.....

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  4. The not knowing what a chalk board is was funny and scary. With kids having smart phones these days, they can just Google the answers on a test or text a smart friend. Sheesh.

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  5. One of my favorite jokes is Elizabeth says to little John the Baptist, Why can't you be more like your cousin Jesus?

    Love,
    Janie

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  6. So much here to laugh at, but I really chuckled at that first cartoon, I have to chuckle because i do that all the time.

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    1. Chuckles, chortles & belly laughs (& all major credit cards) are accepted here!!

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  7. I guess the thought of punishment works.

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    1. It's always been effective on (& for) me!!

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  8. ah English...she's a funny language. Why use a simple word when you can complicate and confuse things so easily?

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    1. I try NEVER to confuse--obfuscate, maybe--but never confuse!!

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  9. I'd never seen the one about fixing the broken rib on the X-ray with Photoshop. That sounds like something I would say.

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    1. BTW, your comment is on the wrong day--it goes with Friday's post!!

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  10. Some of these realy crack me up. The school for
    the gifted one and the surgeon reading the dummy
    book as he's operating. Haha
    Yes it is an old joke. first one. I think I heard it 6o years ago.

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    Replies
    1. So it's a LITTLE old--it's new if you haven't heard it before!!

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Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.