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Wednesday, October 7, 2015

PANDORA'S, PEDRO'S & OTHER BOXES

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(Another week of stuff from my book, "Fishducky's Fables".)


(Ed. Note: Many of these names may be very hard to pronounce, unless you’re Greek,  but it doesn’t matter.)

Many years ago, Zeus, who was a very powerful god indeed, ordered Aphrodite’s husband, Hephaestus, to make him a daughter out of clay.  He made a beautiful woman and named her Pandora.  It was Hephaestus’ first attempt at making a woman, so she may not have been perfect, but Zeus said, “Good enough,” and asked, “What do I owe you?”  Hephaestus told him, “Nothing.  It’s on me.”

Zeus sent his new daughter, Pandora, down to earth so that she could marry Epimethius, who was a gentle but lonely man.  Zeus was not being kind.  He was getting even.  Epimethius and Prometheus were brothers.  Zeus was mad at Prometheus for giving people fire without first asking his permission.

Zeus gave Pandora a little box with a big heavy lock on it.  He made her promise never to open the box.  He gave the key to her husband and told him to never open it, either.  Zeus was sure that his curiosity would get the better of him, and that either Epimethius or his brother Prometheus would open the box.

Pandora was very curious. She wanted to see what was inside the box and begged her husband, “Pretty, pretty please with a cherry on the top?” but Epimethius said, “No, you’d better not. I never trusted your father."  Her husband sighed, “You know how tricky he can be.”

One day, when Epimethius lay sleeping, Pandora stole the key and opened the box, but just a crack.  Imagine her surprise when she heard the voice of Frank Sinatra singing.  She had discovered Pandora Radio!  She had to see what else was in there.  She opened it just a little more and beheld 14 K gold, silver and two tone bracelets and necklaces.  She had found one of the outlets for Pandora Jewelry!!  She was enthralled!!

She wondered what else could be in that marvelous box, so she opened it all the way.  Big mistake!  Out flew every kind of disease and sickness, hate and envy, and all the bad things that people had never experienced before.  She slammed the box shut.

Epimethius woke up at the sound of her sobbing.  “I opened the box and all these ugly things flew out,” she cried.  “I tried to catch them, but they all got out.”  Pandora opened the box to show him how empty it now was.  But the box wasn’t empty.  Howard Stern was now talking but all that lovely jewelry was still there.
 
Zeus had his revenge.  From that day forward, all husbands have been required to furnish their wives with jewelry, but they are permitted to listen to Pandora Radio, for a small subscription fee, of course.



Many of you are too young to remember the 
very clever & popular ventriloquist Senor Wences.
He used his hand to create Johnny.
Pedro was the disembodied head in the box.









And some box cartoons:




Most packages say "Open here."  What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?----fishducky

 





16 comments:

  1. Oh that poor box turtle!
    Laughing at the overstuffed complaints box.

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    1. I select my cartoon carefully, based on their funniness quotient!!

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  2. I have known a few complaints boxes which were waaaay too small.
    Liked Pandora's inbox. Yes, it will hurt to open that teeny, weeny attachment. But I bet she does.

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    1. If you NEED a complaints box, it will probably be too small!!!

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  3. Much better than the Greek version.

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    1. I felt there was room for improvement!!

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  4. Very funny twist, my dear. I love the one about clicking on a link!

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    1. She probably let out all the world's computer viruses!!

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  5. When ever he was on Sullivan, the next week all you heard was "S'all right?...s'all right."

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  6. The Greek names didn't bother me. Hephaestus quickly became Hepi. Cracked up at Frank Sinatra.
    I do remember Senior Wenches. We did the "s'all right" for days also. He was good.

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    1. Glad that worked out for you, Arki!!

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  7. I like the idea of a box turtle thinking outside the box.

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    1. He should have thought of a sweater!!

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  8. I remember Senor Wences! He kind of gave me the creeps with that head in a box. Most of his other weird critters and people weren't as creepy. Cats who think out of the box can't live at my house--LOL! ;)

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    1. I never thought he was creepy--just funny!!

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Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.