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Tuesday, November 24, 2015

CAN YOU SPEAK ENGLISH SO IT SOUNDS LIKE ENGLISH, PLEASE?







My computer on a recent occasion
could not complete a simple application
so in preparation for this presentation
I had a short communication
with some outsourced repair station
can you imagine my frustration
when this dreaded conversation
soon became an abomination
when the agent, whom I believe was Asian,
or else of Indian persuasion,
asked me if I were Caucasian
with some obvious trepidation
yet trying to avoid a conflagration
I asked why my coloration
should be part of the equation
my immediate inclination
was that I felt it was an invasion
of my personal situation
she said it was not her intention
to cause me any apprehension
but she had asked me a simple question,
“Can you wait?” which my elderly ears’ translation
said, “Are you white?” (an aberration!!)
it was not due to inattention
yet I caused my own aggravation
and the subsequent confrontation
with this child of another nation
because of her strange inflection
I couldn’t understand her directions
which brought the call to its culmination
in summation,
I would rather have had a conversation
with the Federal Bureau of Investigation’s
division of tax evasion
if there are further complications
I’ll not again in desperation
put myself in this situation
I now make this stipulation
instead I’ll call a blood relation,
my son, who’s an English speaker by persuasion
I give to him my commendation
he will again be my salvation
after a short consultation
he has given me his affirmation
that he’ll sort out this complication
and, if it’s any consolation,
he’ll save me the degradation
and, indeed, the devastation
of suffering the indignation
of a forced relocation
to a nursing home where the accommodations
are for those of my generation
by my calculations
I would not be in this situation
if these outsourced conversations
were handled in some nation
where English was spoken without hesitation
instead of sounding like an incantation
I realize that these people of foreign origination
who have received much education 
are hired because of financial consideration
but their accents cause such tremendous consternation
let me make this observation
which I have reached after cogitation
as a way of self-preservation
if there were a termination
of these outsourced communications
I could get my own information!!
















My dream is to never again hear a male voice say, "Hello, my name is Peggy; may I help you?"----fishducky

 




22 comments:

  1. I would be very grateful if my reflection was out-sourced.

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    Replies
    1. I KNOW mine was--there'as some old lady that's sneaking into my mirror!!

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  2. This one's a gem. I once called for computer support and a guy with heavy accent said my name is Carl. I spewed coffee on my keyboard.

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    Replies
    1. Imagine what would've happened if he said his name was Cindy!!

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  3. I can always tell when I've been outsourced because they mispronounce the name of my state. It isn't "Ore-a-gon" it's "Or-e-gun." Dead give-a-way.

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    Replies
    1. That would do it--also, they don't understand idioms!!

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  4. They can't outsource retirement can they?

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  5. It is nice to get someone on the line these days sans accent I cannot understand. Yes. Yes. Even after calling Cable One and being told it was fixed my bills still come to Reeda McGregor. LOL! ;)

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    Replies
    1. Try to understand someone with an accent when you have a hearing loss, as I do!!

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    2. YES! I have the same problem. Down the road I know I will need hearing aides. (Probably should have them already but can't afford them.) LOL!

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    3. The only reply I can think of is "What?"!!

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    4. Same here, I can probably only afford them if I wear those ugly big pink boxes from last century. No thanks.

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    5. Mine are not TOO visible--& certainly not obvious!!

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  6. The world is changing, pity I am not so much.
    Merle..............

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    Replies
    1. I feel your pain--this sure doesn't feel like the same world my parents brought me into!!

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  7. My company does not work in other countries except Haiti. I would love to be outsourced to India. LOL

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    Replies
    1. I don't think it qualifies as outsourcing when they send you home!!

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  8. I see a lot of positive and negative ions up there.
    A male named Peggy?

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    Replies
    1. You never know what name they'll choose!

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  9. Think I missed this for I was being stented at the time. I can so relate.

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Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.