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Tuesday, November 3, 2015

PLEASE EXPLAIN...



There are so many things that I just don't understand!!  Here are only a few of them:


I recently bought a book of free verse.  Why did they charge me for it?

If the police never find it, is it still a clue?

Why do they call certain flights nonstop?  Don't all flights have to stop eventually?

Why aren't toothbrushes teethbrushes?  Are they only supposed to brush one tooth?

Why aren't elevators & escalators descendelators when they are coming down?

Shouldn't pitted olives have extra pits?

Why you don’t ever see the headline: “Psychic Wins Lottery”?

Why isn't palindrome spelled the same backwards?

Why don't relief maps show restrooms?

What would happen if the head of the lost & found department was reported missing?

What if scientists discover a new disease which has no symptoms, is impossible to detect & for which there is no known cure?  (Fortunately, no cases have been reported thus far.)

Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink? 

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? 

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? 

A new report says that last year Colorado collected $44 million in marijuana taxes. Why can't they remember where they put it?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? 

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? 

How is it possible to have a civil war? 

Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?

If a #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

Why isn't "coffee" the person who is coughed upon?

Why aren't lawyers sworn to tell the truth like witnesses in a jury trial?

After hanging in your closet for several months, why do clothes shrink two sizes?

If it's "a penny for your thoughts" & you "put your two cents in", who's making money on this deal?

If the police arrest a mime, do they have to tell him he has the right to remain silent?

Did you know that protons have mass? (I didn't even know they were Catholic!!) 

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free? 

How can there be self-help "groups"? 

Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

What if your detached retina weren't completely detached, just emotionally unavailable?














DON'T FORGET
today is National Sandwich Day!!
Oh, yeah, elections, too.


Is there another word for synonym?----fishducky 

 





16 comments:

  1. Children like the one in the second last cartoon are what drives teachers to drink. And probably their parents too.
    Loved your questions. And have no answers.

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    Replies
    1. I'm glad you loved my questions. I have even more answers but unfortunately, there are no questions to go with them!!

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  2. Ah! This is a deep tissue post. ;)

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  3. I think we will all like the answers!
    http://herrowurld.blogspot.com/

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    1. I know the answer to "What's the meaning of life?" It's "42" from "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy". It's the easier ones that are giving me trouble!!

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    2. There is no meaning, life just is. Enjoy.

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  4. That was FUNNY.
    So many questions the trick is to put the right answers to the right questions, well at least the ones that suit you.
    Merle.........

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    Replies
    1. It's funnier if you put the right answers to the wrong questions!!

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  5. I thought I was the only one who wondered why clothes shrink two sizes when left for a while in the closet.

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    Replies
    1. Actually, I'd be happy if they never shrank MORE than two sizes!!

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  6. So many questions to answer. I am not so sure if I have answer for even one.

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    Replies
    1. Is that your final answer or do you want to phone a friend?

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  7. Oh Calvin~you're in trouble!
    Good points, all of them. Funny too.

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Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.