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Friday, November 27, 2015

WHY WOMEN LIVE LONGER THAN MEN or I KNOW YOU'RE PISSED, BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO BITE MY HEAD OFF!!




Women live longer because we don't have the weird need to

Work under things that may fall & squash us:


Women can tell the difference between a power mower & a helicopter:




Women will wear a hat or carry an umbrella when they need shade:

Women do not like to get their shoes wet:

Women respect the law of gravity:

 Women know the dangers of smoking in certain areas:

Women may stick their noses where they don't belong,
but never their whole head:

A woman prefers to work on a surface larger than she is: 


Women know they cannot fly:



Words escape me on this one: 

Electricity & water--enough said: 

Women understand the proper use of ladders:



And while some women still do stupid things,
we'll never catch up to the men!!:


An old but still funny Alan King routine:
He has since died, but yes--he was survived by his wife!!















All the women moaning about finding a husband obviously never had one----fishducky

 




18 comments:

  1. Does horse manure make good conditioner? Yes, both of those women weren't entirely bright - but they will survive their stupidity. Not sure about all of the men...

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    1. Maybe that's why worldwide there are 107 boys born to every 100 girls. Mother Nature knows it will eventually even out!!

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  2. Those of us who have husbands question our sanity...those without who want one are certifiable.

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  3. I remember Alan King appearing on The Ed Sullivan Show. We also had cousins who had one of his albums that included the Hello Mudder, Hello Fadder, Here I am at Camp Granada. We laughed every time we listened to it.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. That WAS a funny record, but it was Allan Sherman!!

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    2. All these years I thought it was Alan King. I'm completely disillusioned now and might as well go to bed.

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  4. I had to chuckle at your final comment. That's why I have been alone by choice since 1993--LOL! Had me two of them and even tried a couple more without marrying them--not for me. Much happier single. ;)

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    1. Bud has always been my only husband--he's MORE than enough for me!!

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  5. I love that first cartoon about the husband disagreeing with her so she needs an antacid. Ha!

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    Replies
    1. It's only a cartoon--but it COULD happen!!

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  6. You just proved most men are mad, always keep their life insurance payment up to date.
    Merle..............

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  7. The scent of horse manure will linger on and on...Will it help her stop from doing the next stupid thing?
    Male black widow spiders need to train to make a get away.

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    Replies
    1. They CERTAINLY should have some sort of a basic training course!!

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  8. OMG! the man standing on a surfboard balanced on two window frames! And the one about to jump into his own pants! They're all crazy!
    Thanks very much for all the out loud laughs.
    Loved Alan King.
    I think if I go through my family tree, I'll find all the men died first.

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Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.