Follow

Wednesday, December 30, 2015

FOR FEMALE EYES ONLY!! MEN--DO NOT READ UNDER PENALTY OF LAW!!



Ladies--let's keep this our secret!!



(Reprinted from a June, 2013 post with new cartoons.)

I’d like to tell you about an organization my friends & I founded a number of years ago.  There are no meetings & no dues.  No rules except that you must tell at least one woman friend about it & swear that you will never tell a man.

Reading ahead means that you agree to the terms of membership.

The organization is called “WHAM”.  That’s an acronym for WHY HUSBANDS ARE MURDERED, although in this day & age it could also mean significant other instead of husband.  Our purpose is to save women the trouble of constantly complaining about the things their husbands do—usually caused by testosterone poisoning.  In my time it meant things like, “I went to the market like you asked.  So, big deal I forgot milk, bread & eggs.  You didn’t really need them, did you?” or “I DID tell you that I accepted that invitation to that formal affair tomorrow, didn’t I?” or my personal favorite, after a day where nothing went right, the kids are screaming & you’re still in your nightgown, him coming home from work & saying, “What do you mean I didn’t tell you that I had invited my boss & his wife for dinner tonight?  Why aren’t you dressed yet?”  God only knows what they are today.

These things are the types that do not constitute grounds for divorce, but we feel that murder would not be an inappropriate reaction.

WHAM members need only to look at another member & say “Wham!!”.  The other member would answer by giving her a thumbs up & repeating “Wham!!”.  This response would mean:

1—I know, honey, I’ve been there.
2—I’m so sorry.
3—What can you do?  They’re men!!
4—I’d kill him if I were you.
5—Any or all of the above.

Congratulations on your new membership!!


fishducky
President, WHAM

PS—The inspiration for the formation of WHAM came from a line in the play, “The Fourposter”.  After 50 years of marriage the wife is asked if she had ever thought of divorce.  Her answer: “Divorce? Never.  Murder?  Yes!!”

PPS—Shortly after the forming of WHAM my youngest son was married.  At the time, he & his wife both worked for United Airlines so, of course, there were many airline employees at their reception.  I told all of the female guests about our new organization & they promised to carry the word back to their many parts of the world.  I fully expected to hear some male newscaster say, “Women all across the world are giving each other the thumbs up sign & saying 'Wham!!’ We’ll get back to that when we find out what the reason is.  Right now, no one will say anything.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



































































In case you're wondering, I am NOT mad at my husband (at this moment)---fishducky

 


11 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. And if I had I would be out of jail by now.

      Delete
    2. You might enjoy this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rmhz6zBienI

      Delete
  2. "I still don't understand darling, what are you trying to say?"
    Ye gods! There's dense and then there's that guy (*~*)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. With men you have to judge by the degree of density!!

      Delete
  3. Well I'm all crippled up and don't get out that much anymore anyway...so...WHAM!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry about that but he probably deserves a WHAM anyway!!

      Delete
  4. Some of my friends and I are already members!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Spread the word--this should reach every woman & girl on Earth!!

      Delete
  5. Ha ha ha...Fran, you make my day.

    Happy New Year and God bless!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why are you laughing? This is dead serious!!

      Delete

Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.