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Friday, December 4, 2015

FOURTEEN THINGS I HAVE LEARNED IN MY MANY YEARS ON THIS EARTH (A GUIDE TO INNER WISDOM)


1. As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I am in touch with my inner sociopath.

2. I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.

3. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.

4. I no longer need to punish, deceive, or compromise myself, unless I want to stay married.

5. In some cultures, what I do would be considered normal.

6. Having control over myself is almost as good as having control over others.

7. My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of self-judgment.

8. I honor my personality flaws for without them I would have no personality at all.

9. Joan of Arc heard voices, too.

10. I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.

11. I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper, and complain.

12. As I learn the innermost secrets of people around me, they reward me in many ways to keep me quiet.

13. When someone hurts me, I know that forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit, but not nearly as gratifying.

14. The first step is to say nice things about myself. The second, to do nice things for myself. The third, to find someone to buy me nice things.
ArcaMax

So instead of writing more, I'm giving you extra cartoons today.
Think about it.




















How I live my life:


The older I get the more I realize that no one has any idea of what they are actually doing & everyone is just pretending----fishducky

 






24 comments:

  1. Somedays my inner child needs a baby sitter. Or a parole officer.
    I really, really like Snoopy's fondness for afternoon naps. Now that is wisdom.

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    1. Your comment made me laugh--& Snoopy is the wisest dog I know!!

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  2. It takes a special kind of twisted to get the right mix for your posts. This one is classic. There were so many great ones, I couldn't pick a favorite.
    Good work Fran.

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    1. It's good to know I'm the right kind of twisted!! Are you feeling better, Rick?

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  3. That list of fourteen rules was beginning to sound like an ISIS handbook lol.

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  4. This entire post is super, but I especially like your closing comment about everyone pretending. Man-oh-man, have I ever felt like that before. Especially when I'm receiving some sort of achievement award... I feel like a bit of a fraud. Oh well. I guess we just have to fake it 'til we make it...

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    Replies
    1. We ALL need to feel like grownuppier grownups at times!!

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  5. Fran, I especially like #14...I forget to do things for myself.

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    Replies
    1. That MAY have been the most important one!!

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  6. 4. I no longer need to punish, deceive, or compromise myself, unless I want to stay married.

    Ha! Love it.

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  7. YMMD!!!! (You made my day!!!!) LOL! :)

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    Replies
    1. IG,BHMLAYGTTLT? (I'm glad, but how much longer are you going to talk like this?)

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    2. IDK. IMML. :)
      (I don't know. It makes me laugh.)

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  8. Points 4 thru 7 apply to me too, I guess to a lot of us too.
    I love your little poem.

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  9. Your final sentence says it all :)
    I like Snoopy's philosophy in that last cartoon.

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  10. Toilet paper. Yeah. Always have more toilet paper than you think you need.

    Love,
    Janie

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    Replies
    1. An EXCELLENT rule to live by!! (When my dad, who had been widowed & lived alone died , we went to clean his apartment. We found a whole case of toilet paper!!)

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  11. Heh, heh. Loved the hot dogs not looking within, and the not self-reflective Dracula.

    My boys used to love hot dogs when they were little, but then Genius's 3rd grade teacher told the kids what they were made of. Or what she THOUGHT they were made of. Then he stopped eating them, and kind of turned his younger brother off of them, too. Except he didn't associate corn dogs with hot dogs.

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    Replies
    1. I've found boys have their own way of looking at things!!

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Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.