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Monday, December 7, 2015

HOW (NOT) TO TELL A JOKE






An exotic food joke told reasonably well:

Poachers in Africa opened a restaurant.  Their come on was: “We make sandwiches from ANY African animal!  If we can’t make your sandwich, we’ll pay you $10,000.00!!”   Business was booming for months.  They sold sandwiches made of ground zebra, lion pot roast, leg of hippo, etc.  One day the waiter tries to place an order with the cook.  Together, they sadly go to the manager & tell him that he’s going to have to pay the $10,000.00.  He asks why & they tell him that a customer just ordered an elephant ball sandwich on rye.  He tells them that’s no problem—a new shipment of elephant balls just came in.  The cook says, “I know that!  The problem is, we’re out of rye bread!!”

How not to tell it:

A priest, a rabbi & a chef decided to go to Africa & open a vegetarian restaurant.  Then the priest & the rabbi changed their minds, so the chef did it by himself, even though most jokes are funnier with a priest, a rabbi & a third person.  He thought a sandwich shop would be more popular than a vegetarian restaurant so that's what he opened.  He had a big sign made that said, “We make sandwiches from ANY African animal!  If we can’t make your sandwich, we’ll pay you $10,000.00!!” & he had it printed on the menus, too.  Anyway, the restaurant did pretty well for a while until a priest & a rabbi & somebody else (this is where they are supposed to be in the joke) came in & one of them--it must have been the priest because I don't think elephants are kosher--ordered an elephant ball sandwich with mustard.  Wait a minute, I forgot to say that he wanted it on rye bread.  That part is important.  The waiter tried to convince the priest to have it on French bread, a croissant or even a bagel instead, because he thought they were out of rye bread--but the priest insisted on rye.   The waiter  goes to the manager & tells him that he’s going to have to pay the $10,000.00.  The manager asks why & the waiter tells him that a customer just ordered an elephant ball sandwich on rye.  He tells the waiter that’s no problem—a new shipment of elephant balls just came in along with several loaves of rye bread.  It turns out that they had to pay the guy the $10,000.00 anyway, because they had run out of mustard!! 


For something a little different,













HAPPY HANUKKAH
CHAPPY CHANNUKA
HAVE A GREAT FESTIVAL OF LIGHTS!!

If your parachute doesn't open, you've obviously jumped to a conclusion----fishducky

 





10 comments:

  1. Your final sentence made me laugh more than all the jokes did!

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    Replies
    1. I try to always leave 'em laughing!!

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  2. I've never been good at passing along a joke.

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    Replies
    1. To tell a joke well, your memory has to be...who's calling, please?

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  3. That's why joke telling success is not something just everybody can do. It's always a delight to listen to someone who has that skill. ;)

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    Replies
    1. I, myself, am SOMETIMES delightful!!

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  4. Replies
    1. Consider yourself lucky to even HAVE a parachute!!

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  5. Can't tell a joke to save my life. I can write one, but telling one has no backspace or delete keys.

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    Replies
    1. I was just thinking--wouldn't it be nice if life came with backspace & delete keys?

      Delete

Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.