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Friday, December 11, 2015

THESE KIDS HAVE IT FIGURED OUT ALREADY


Kids today are a lot smarter than they used to be--or maybe they're just smart(er)-assed. You decide.



























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Of, course, not all kids are like that.  Some examples:

“I used to think clowns were a race of people just like any other.”

“My son thinks ‘potty train’ is an actual train. He really wants to find that potty train.”

“After telling my five-year-old daughter I’m excited because my favorite band is coming to town to play, she ran to her room and started cleaning up her toys. When I asked her what she was doing she said, ‘Mommy, those are big guys and if they’re coming over to play I don’t want them stepping on my stuff. They’ll break everything!’”

“When I was younger I saw an accident on the side of the road and my mom said, ‘If you have an accident, the cops come.’ I thought she meant that if I peed my pants in the car the cops would come get me.”

“When the TV went to a commercial and they said, ‘Don’t go anywhere! We’ll be right back!’ I would sit still until the show came back because I thought they could see me and I didn’t want them to get mad if I left!”

“I thought God had a wife named Gosh.”

“My five-year-old confuses germs with Germans. So when anyone gets sick he says, ‘You must have Germans inside you.’”

“When I was in second grade a nutritionist came to talk about healthy eating. She told us hummus was a great snack, and that it was made of chickpea. I thought she meant ‘chick pee’ and refused to eat hummus until I was 15 and learned that chickpea is a type of bean.”

“As a child I thought the deer crossing signs on the interstate meant that the deer would cross at exactly that location. I thought it was nice that people put up signs telling the deer where to cross the street.”

“When I was six my parents took me to the Empire State Building, and I thought it was called the ‘entire’ state building because you could (I imagined) see the entire state of New York from the top.”

“I didn’t realize calling someone ‘a prick’ was calling them a penis. I thought it was calling them annoying, like it’s annoying to prick your finger.”

“My kid asked how childproof caps know whether it’s a child’s or an adult’s hand that’s trying to open it.”

“I thought “in-laws” were family members who’d been in prison. When my mom referred to her sister-in-law, I always wondered what my aunt went to prison for.”













Why aren't smart guy & wise guy the same thing?----fishducky

 












































10 comments:

  1. Whiney Houston cracked me up.
    I really, really wonder what is in store for some of these kids - and for us when they control the world.

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  2. Kids today are certainly smarter about some things. Like electronic gadgets. Our grandchildren started playing with computers, tablets, smart phones and video games before they even started school. However, even though none of that stuff was around when I was a kid, I definitely excelled at smart-assiness. :)

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    Replies
    1. It's comforting to know we're all good at SOMETHING!!

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  3. Love the candy bar subtraction---he's have diabetes! Ha!

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  4. Laughed out loud at the kid who thinks her parents would be "Whiney" Houston and Tom Cruse.
    and at just about everything else too.

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  5. I love the logic of kids: 1896 and signed at the bottom were right on target. But all the obsession with food sort of scared me. The diabetes comment is coming true, which does not bode well for the bacon and cheese fans among the kids.

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    Replies
    1. Wouldn't it be wonderful if fat free bacon & cheese tasted like the real thing instead of like cardboard?

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Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.