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Wednesday, January 7, 2015

CELEBRITY QUOTES YOU MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE HEARD



(Joe at crankyoldman sent me this.  Thanks, Joe!!)

On July 20, 1969, as commander of the Apollo 11 Lunar Module, Neil Armstrong was the first person to set foot on the moon. His first words after stepping on the moon, "That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind," were televised to earth and heard by millions.

But, just before he re-entered the lander, he made the enigmatic remark, "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky."  Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet cosmonaut. 


However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs.  Over the years, many people questioned Armstrong as to what the 'Good luck, Mr. Gorsky' statement meant, but Armstrong always just smiled.
      
On July 5, 1995, in Tampa Bay, Florida, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26-year-old question about Mr. Gorsky to Armstrong.

This time he finally responded because his Mr. Gorsky had just died, so Armstrong felt he could now answer the question.

Here is the answer to "Who was Mr. Gorsky?":

In 1938, when he was a kid in a small mid-western town, he was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard.  His friend hit the ball, which landed in his neighbor's yard by their bedroom window.  His neighbors were Mr. and Mrs. Gorsky.

As he leaned down to pick up the ball, young Armstrong heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky, "Sex!  You want sex?! You'll get sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!"

It broke the place up.

(Neil Armstrong's family confirmed that this is a true story.
Do pass it on; it's too choice not to be shared.)
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(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.) 

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: “I would not live forever, because we should not
live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever,
then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever,
which is why I would not live forever.”
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Yogi Berra (the catcher, not the Hanna Barbera character) was making dinner plans with some friends.  One of them suggested a certain restaurant.  Yogi said, “No, it’s too popular.  Nobody goes there, anymore!”
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Bette Midler--“If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it? “
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Hugh Hefner--“My life is an open book. With illustrations.”
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Ozzy Osbourne--“I think MTV should consider using subtitles. Half the time, even I can’t understand what the fuck I’m talking about.”
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. --George Burns 
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What would men be without women? Scarce, sir .. mighty scarce. --Mark Twain 
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By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. --Socrates
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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. --Groucho Marx
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My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. --Jimmy Durante 
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The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things. --Jilly Cooper 
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I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. -- Zsa Gabor
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Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. --Alex Levine 
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Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. --Mark Twain 
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 What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money. --Henny Youngman 
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Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was 'shut up.' --Joe Namath
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Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. --Herbert Henry Asquith
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I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap. --Bob Hope
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A woman drove me to drink ... and I hadn't even the courtesy to thank her. --W.C.Fields
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George Bush--“They misunderestimated me”
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Christina Aguilera--“I wouldn’t feel right wearing clothes covering my body.”
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Arnold Schwarzenegger--“I think that gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman.”
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Abdullah Ahmar, speaker of Yemeni parliament, on the practice of taking foreign visitors hostage--"[Being taken hostage is] an adventure for the tourist, because the tourist will end up learning about the customs of the tribes as well as their good hospitality."  
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Gerald Ford (president, 1974-77)--"If Lincoln were alive today he'd roll over in his grave." 
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Former vice president Dan Quayle, attempting to explain the difference between the House and the Senate--"There are lots more people in the House. I don't know how many exactly-I never counted but at least a couple hundred." 
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Dave Barry-"I hope I don't sound like an old-fashioned stick-in-the-mud, but when I hear about people making vast fortunes without doing any productive work or contributing anything to society, my reaction is: 'How can I get in on that?'" 
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My friend was not a celebrity, but I love this quote: He was president of a large corporation & often was required to make speeches.  He was a little over 6' tall & often had to raise the microphone when it was his turn to speak.  On this one occasion, the previous speaker was about 6'6" tall & he tried to lower the mike.  He was having difficulty & said, "That's the first time I've had trouble getting it down!"













And you can quote me on that!!----fishducky