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Thursday, February 5, 2015

WOULD YOU MAKE ME A SANDWICH?




A short history lesson for you:

John Montagu was the fourth Earl of sandwich.  This 18th century English noble was engaged in a 24 hour gambling event and he wanted a meal he could eat with one hand.  He instructed his servants to serve him his lunch meat between two slices of bread.  His birthday, November 3, is now commemorated as National Sandwich Day, but I knew that you wouldn't want to wait until then for this important information.  What's the most popular sandwich in America today?  The hamburger, of course!!

The British paper The Daily Mail was attempting to address a labor-shortage issue faced by a company that provides pre-made sandwiches to supermarkets, which recently had to outsource work to 300 Hungarians due to a lack of suitable options locally in England. The headline read "Is there no one left in Britain who can make a sandwich?"

Why do men assume that their women are always willing to make them a sandwich?    
Sometimes I'd like to do this:

Or this:


My favorite sandwich in the whole world?  Two slices french bread, mayonnaise, cold sliced turkey, cold leftover dressing, cranberry sauce & a piece or two of lettuce.  Absolute gastronomical heaven!!  Please tell me what's in your favorite.

David LaFerriere has been drawing pictures on his kid’s sandwich bags for about five years now.  He first began using food coloring and tried to draw directly onto the bread. The bread, however, was too rough, and the process became too time consuming, so he dropped that idea. He found a black Sharpie one morning on his kitchen counter and wondered if it would work – and sure enough it did.

“At first it was just red and black markers,” David says. “Then I got more colors and got more creative. The Sharpies were great; how they adhere to the bag. I’d tried all sorts of things to make different pictures like using a napkin to smudge the ink or different forms of shading. It was fun!”

Below are some of my favorites of his drawings:







To see many more, click here.


Three construction workers—two New Yorker's & one good ol’ boy from Kentucky--were all sitting on a girder 50’ above the ground at noon, unwrapping their sandwiches. One of the New Yorker's says , “Ugh, peanut butter & jelly sandwiches again! I swear if I have the same sandwich for lunch tomorrow I’ll jump off this girder!!” The other two agree to join him as their sandwiches were just as boring.


The next day the 3 men are on their lunch break again and would you believe it, they all have the same sandwiches the next day so, true to their word, they all jump off the girder, killing themselves.  Their coworkers tell the widows what happened.


At their funeral their wives are talking.  “Oh, if only I made him different sandwiches I’d have my husband back.”  “Why was I so inconsiderate?”  At this point the Kentuckian’s wife says, “The really sad part for me is that Bubba made his own sandwiches!”
.ebaumsworld.com
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A ham sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
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An exotic food joke: Poachers in Africa opened a restaurant.  Their come on was: “We make sandwiches from ANY African animal!  If we can’t make your sandwich, we’ll pay you $10,000.00!!”   

Business was booming for months.  They sold sandwiches made of ground zebra, lion pot roast, leg of hippo, etc.  One day the waiter tries to place an order with the cook.  Together, they sadly go to the manager & tell him that he’s going to have to pay the $10,000.00.  He asks why & they tell him that a customer just ordered an elephant ball sandwich on rye.  He tells them that should be no problem--a new shipment of elephant balls just came in.  


The cook says, “I know that!  The problem is, we’re out of rye bread!!”


Now you know why vending machine sandwiches taste so good.
Isn't this appetizing?










Sandwitch

If someone in America & someone in China each put a piece of bread on the ground at the same time, would they have made an Earth sandwich?----fishducky