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Monday, February 16, 2015

THE FOUR LITTLE PIGS

Do your children ever make you kvell (a Yiddish word meaning being so proud you just have to share what they did)?  Mine do!!  My son Matt has diabetes & for the last few years he & his wonderful wife have been riding their bikes to raise money for a cure.  He just sent me this:

Since you guys wouldn't let me buy you dinner for your anniversary, I decided to use some of the money to make someone else happy.

Amelia is the 8-year-old daughter of a friend of mine in Utah who I met through the JDRF (Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation) bike rides. I've never met her, but saw the original letter, which was from a school assignment, when my friend posted it on Facebook.

Just don't let anyone else know I'm a nice guy. I've worked hard over the years building my reputation...




And now, your regularly scheduled post:






It's fairy tale week again--from my book, "Fishducky's Fables"!!




Once upon a time there were four little pigs and the time came for them to leave home and seek their fortunes.  Their mother packed them each a lunch of peanut butter and slop sandwiches (their favorite), some carrot sticks, an apple and a can of V8 juice, because she was very much into healthy eating.  She gave them each a kiss and told them, “Be sure to buy some land and build a sturdy house, because that will keep you safe and warm for the rest of your lives.  Keep in touch with me and your dad and be sure to write if you find work.   Adieu, mes infants!”  (She came from a family of Porc Gascons, a French breed, and wanted everybody to know it.)

The first little pig bought some land but paid so much for it that the money he had left to spend on building materials was only enough for straw.  He had just finished building his house when there was a knock at the door.  “Who is it?” he asked.  “Avon calling,” was the reply.  “No, thank you.  I don’t need anything,” he said.  The caller, who was really a wolf, said, “Let me in or I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house down!”  The pig told him, “Not by the hair on Kim Kardashian's chin, but I bet she could use one of your depilatories!”  A couple of huffs and three puffs later, down came the house and the pig was eaten.

A few days later, the wolf was hungry again.  He came upon a house of sticks, which was built by the second little pig.  “Sticks,” he thought, “No problem!”  Still, he knocked first, because that was easier.  “Who is it?” asked the pig.  “Vacuum cleaner salesman,” said the wolf.  “We have a special offer today.”  “No, thank you,” the pig said.  “I’m a pig and I like it when things are dirty.”  The wolf threatened, “Let me in or I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house down!”  The pig didn’t, but the wolf did.  This time it took four huffs and seven puffs, but down came the house and the pig was eaten.

The third little pig built his house of bricks, because everybody knows that a wolf can’t blow a brick house down.  He invited his mother and father over for dinner.  After a lovely meal, his mother asked, “Do you know how your brothers are doing?  I haven’t heard from them and their cell phones aren’t working.  I think their batteries must be dead.”  “That’s not the only thing that’s dead, Maman.”  (Remember, she was French and that’s what they had always called her.)  He then told her the sad fate of the first two pigs.

Just then there was a knock at the door--that’s right, it was the wolf again.  “Who’s there?” asked the third little pig.  The wolf said, “I’m collecting for the homeless shelter.  Please help your fellow citizens.”  The pig said, “I gave at the office.”  The wolf said, “Let me in or I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house down!”  “Go ahead and try,” said the pig.  “Even with halitosis as bad as yours, one wolf can’t blow down this house of bricks!”  The wolf thought about it and decided the pig was right, so he went home and returned with his entire pack.  It took several huffs and more than a few puffs, but down came the house and the pig (and his mother and father) were eaten.

The fourth little pig instigated murder charges against the wolves, who were convicted and executed after many years of appeals.  He bought a condo in a gated community in Florida and lived happily ever after.





















                                          

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?----fishducky