Saturday, 3/14/2015, was National Pi Day & I missed it!! Here are some cartoons to celebrate, anyway:
Let's start today's post with my favorite animal joke:
Farmer
Jones goes to town to buy a duck. As he's heading home, he passes the local
theater and notices that a film he really wanted to see is playing. Not wanting
to miss the movie, Jones stuffs the duck in his pants and goes into the
darkened theater. The duck has to breathe, so he unzips his fly.
He sits
down next to two old ladies, Thelma and Maude. During the movie the duck gets
restless and sticks his head out of the farmer's fly. Maude looks over, pokes Thelma and says,
"Look at that! I can't believe it!" Thelma replies,
"C'mon, don't tell me you've never seen one of those before." Maude
answers, "Yeah, but this one's eating my popcorn!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two bats are hanging upside down on a branch. One asks the
other, "Do you remember your worst day ever?" The other
responds, "Yes, the day I had diarrhea!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man in a movie theater notices a penguin
sitting next to him.
"Are you a penguin?" asked the man,
surprised.
"Yes."
"What are you doing at the movies?"
The penguin replied,
"Well, I really liked the book."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: Why is Turtle Wax so expensive? A: Because
their ears are so small!
Q.
What was the turtle doing on the fwy that caused such a huge traffic jam? A. A
couple of miles an hour.
Q.
Why did the turkey cross the road? A. It
was the chicken’s day off.
Q: Why did the cow cross the road? A: To get to
the udder side.
Q: What has four legs and goes
“Oom, Oom”? A: A cow walking backwards.
Q: Why did the policeman give the
sheep a ticket? A: He made an illegal ewe turn.
Q: What does an octopus wear when it gets cold? A:
A coat of arms.
Q: What do you do if your cat
swallows your pencil? A: Use a pen.
Q: Where do cows go on Saturday
night? A: To the
mooooooovies.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There were two cows in a field.
The first cow said “moo” & the second cow said “baaaa.” The first cow asked
the second cow, “Why did you say baaaa?” The second cow said, “I’m learning a
foreign language.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There were two cows in a field.
One of the cows says, “moo” & the other one says, “That’s what I was going to
say.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Later they get together. The priest begins: “When I found the
bear, I read to him from the Catechism & sprinkled him with holy water. Next
week is his First Communion.”
“I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “& preached
God’s holy word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.”
They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on the ground with
his clothes torn & covered with blood. “Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn't have started with the circumcision.”
The fastest turtle I've ever seen:
One of Tim Conway's best skits:
If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?----fishducky
