(I wish I could take credit for this, but it was written by Morty Storm)
Everybody who has a dog
calls him "Rover" or "Boy." I call mine "Sex."
He's a great pal, but he has caused me a great deal of embarrassment.
When I went to city hall to
renew his dog license, I told the clerk I would like a license for Sex. He
said, "I'd like one too!"
Then, I said, "But
this is a dog." He said he didn't care what she looked like. Then, I said,
"You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was 9 years old." He
winked and said, "You must have been quite a kid."
When I got married and went
on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel clerk that I wanted a
room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex.
He said, "You don't
need a special room. As long as you pay your bill, we don't care what you
do." I said, "Look, you don't seem to understand. Sex keeps me awake
at night." The clerk said, "Funny; I have the same problem."
One day, I entered Sex in a
contest, but before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant
asked me why I was just standing there, looking disappointed. I told him I had
planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold my own
tickets. "But you don't understand," I said, "I had hoped to
have Sex on TV." He said, "Now that cable is all over the place, it's
no big deal anymore."
When my wife and I
separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your
honor, I had Sex before I was married." The judge said, "The
courtroom isn't a confessional. Stick to the case, please."
Then, I told him that after
I was married, Sex left me. He said, "Me too."
Last night, Sex ran off
again. I spent hours looking all over town for him. A cop came over to me and
asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4 o'clock in the
morning?" I told him that I was looking for Sex.
My case comes up Friday.
Some more funny stuff:
If I had a dollar for every time I got distracted, I wish I had a puppy----fishducky
