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Thursday, April 2, 2015

ALL THAT GLITTERS IS NOT GOOD


I think Google was playing an April Fool's joke on me.  Some of you might have missed yesterday's regularly scheduled post: 

MY FAIR (INFLATABLE) LADY--THE LEGEND OF PYGMALION AND GALATEA  

If you're one of them & you'd like to read it, click here.



It's legends week from my book Fishducky's Fables!!



Many years ago there lived a king named Midas.  He was very, very rich. It was said that he had more gold than any other king alive.  He loved his gold better than anything else in the whole world.  The very thought of gold got him excited in some strange parts of his body.  His one great wish was for more and more gold.

One day while he was in his gold room counting his money on his solid gold calculator, his fairy godmother appeared before him. Her face shone with the glow of the heavy makeup she was wearing, and she had wings on her cap and on her feet.  In her hand she carried a strange looking wand, and the wand also had wings.  You could definitely say she was wingy.  "Midas, you are the richest man in the world," she said.  "There is no King who has as much gold as you."  "That may be," said the King, "But I should like much more, for gold is the best and the most wonderful thing in the world.  By the way, how did you get past the guards?"  "I gave them Kim Kardashian’s memoirs,” said his fairy godmother. “They will be asleep for a long time.  You are a good and benevolent king,” she continued, “And I shall grant you one wish.”  "If I could have but one wish," said the King, "I would ask that everything I touch should turn to beautiful yellow gold."  "Okey, dokey," she said.  "Starting at sunrise tomorrow morning your slightest touch will turn everything into gold.”

The next day King Midas woke up very early.  He was eager to see if his fairy godmother's promise had come true.  As soon as the sun rose he tried the gift by touching the bed lightly with his hand.  The bed turned to gold. He touched the chair and table.  The instant they were touched they turned to solid gold.  The King was wild with joy!  He ran around the room, touching everything he could see.  His magic gift turned everything to shining gold.  He turned on the TV but all he could get was a rerun of “The Golden Girls”. You can guess what happened when he went to the royal bathroom!

All this excitement made King very hungry and he went down to eat his breakfast. That’s when he first realized he may have made a mistake.   When he raised a glass of clear, cold water to drink, it became solid gold.   Not a drop could pass his lips. The bread turned to gold under his fingers.  The meat was hard, yellow, and shiny--and not tender at all!  There was no way he could eat.  All was gold, gold, gold!  A deep fear rose within him.  Would the same thing happen to the prime rib, Caesar salad and baked potatoes the cook had promised him for dinner that evening?  He loved prime rib!  He had to get this blessing--no, this curse--removed!  He cried, and as he wiped away his tears, they, too, turned to gold.

He looked up to see his fairy godmother standing before him.  "Do you still think that gold is the greatest thing in the world?" she asked.  "No! No!" cried the King.  "I hate the very sight of the yellow stuff."  "Are you sure that you no longer wish the golden touch?"  "I have learned my lesson," said the King.  "I no longer think gold is the greatest thing in the world.  May I please have platinum, instead?"  “Sorry, union rules only allow one precious metal per wish,” she told him, “But I have another plan for your wealth and happiness.  The automobile will be invented in the future, and if you start now……”


And that, my dear children, is the story of how Midas Mufflers was born.











I don't know where my money's been going--Bud says I have the minus touch!!----fishducky