I think Google was playing an April Fool's joke on me. Some of you might have missed yesterday's regularly scheduled post:
MY FAIR (INFLATABLE) LADY--THE LEGEND OF PYGMALION AND GALATEA
If you're one of them & you'd like to read it, click here.
It's legends week from my book Fishducky's Fables!!
Many years ago there lived a king named Midas. He was very, very rich. It was said that he
had more gold than any other king alive.
He loved his gold better than anything else in the whole world. The very thought of gold got him excited in
some strange parts of his body. His one great wish was for more and more gold.
One day while he was in his gold room counting
his money on his solid gold calculator, his fairy godmother appeared before
him. Her face shone with the glow of the heavy makeup she
was wearing, and she had wings on her cap and on her feet. In her hand she carried a strange looking
wand, and the wand also had wings. You
could definitely say she was wingy. "Midas,
you are the richest man in the world," she said. "There is no King who has as much gold as
you." "That may be," said the King, "But I
should like much more, for gold is the best and the most wonderful thing in the
world. By the way, how did you get past
the guards?" "I gave them Kim
Kardashian’s memoirs,” said his fairy godmother. “They will be asleep for a
long time. You are a good and benevolent
king,” she continued, “And I shall grant you one wish.” "If I could have but one wish,"
said the King, "I would ask that everything I touch should turn to
beautiful yellow gold." "Okey, dokey," she said. "Starting at sunrise tomorrow morning your
slightest touch will turn everything into gold.”
The next day King Midas woke up very early. He was eager to see if his fairy godmother's
promise had come true. As soon as the sun rose he tried the gift by touching the bed lightly
with his hand. The bed turned to gold. He touched the chair and table. The instant
they were touched they turned to solid gold. The King was
wild with joy! He ran around the room, touching everything he could
see. His magic gift turned everything to
shining gold. He turned on the TV but
all he could get was a rerun of “The Golden Girls”. You can guess what happened
when he went to the royal bathroom!
All this excitement made King very hungry and he
went down to eat his breakfast. That’s when he first realized he may have made
a mistake. When he raised a glass of clear, cold water to
drink, it became solid gold. Not a drop
could pass his lips. The bread turned to
gold under his fingers. The meat was hard, yellow, and shiny--and not tender at
all! There was no way he could eat. All was gold,
gold, gold! A deep fear rose
within him. Would the same thing happen
to the prime rib, Caesar salad and baked potatoes the cook had promised him for
dinner that evening? He loved prime rib! He had to get this blessing--no, this curse--removed! He
cried, and as he wiped away his tears, they, too, turned to gold.
He looked up to see his fairy godmother standing
before him. "Do you still think that gold is the greatest thing in the
world?" she asked. "No! No!"
cried the King. "I hate the very
sight of the yellow stuff." "Are you sure that you no longer wish the golden
touch?" "I have learned my
lesson," said the King. "I no
longer think gold is the greatest thing in the world. May I please have platinum, instead?" “Sorry, union rules only allow one precious
metal per wish,” she told him, “But I have another plan for your wealth and
happiness. The automobile will be
invented in the future, and if you start now……”