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Monday, May 11, 2015

HANSEL AND GRETEL (THE MODERN VERSION)


As many of you know, my dear friend Inger of Desert Canyon Living recently lost her beloved husband Errol.  You might want to make a donation in his honor.  This is from an email she sent to me yesterday:

Since Errol loved dogs so much, I think my favorite charity would be a wonderful place for a donation in Errol's memory. It is called Rolling Dog Farm and rescues disabled dogs, takes care of them and places them for adoption when they can. I used to be very involved with them before the economy and we went bust and I love the husband and wife who do this work. They are wonderful, caring people. You can check out their web page here: 

This song is for Errol & Inger:



It's fairy tale week again (from my book, "Fishducky's Fables")!!


Many years ago, there lived a brother and sister.  Their names were Hansel and Gretel.  Hansel was the boy.  (You may think that’s an odd name, but if he were Gretel, this would be an entirely different story.)  Business was very bad, because they lived right next to a steep fiscal cliff, and their family was starving.  The children decided to go into the forest in search of food.  They took some bread along, with which they planned to mark a trail back to their home by leaving crumbs along the way.

They didn’t realize they were being followed by a herd of deer, who were very quiet animals.  The deer were eating the bread crumbs as they were dropped.  So much for the trail!  An older doe, whose fur was dirty and unkempt, came up to them and asked, “Hey, kids, do you have a couple of bucks you can spare?” She then turned and saw her uncles and said, “Never mind.  There are some over there,” and left.

The two continued down the path and after a while, they came upon a little house made of gingerbread.  Hansel broke off a piece of the front porch, took a bite and said, “This is the best porch I ever tasted!”  Gretel tasted it and agreed.

Just then, the door opened and an old woman came out and invited them in.  She let them select from an all-you-can-eat buffet that was set up in her kitchen.  They were so tired from their walk and so full from the buffet that they fell asleep in their chairs.  When they woke up, they found themselves in a cell!  (Ed. Note: The old woman was really a wicked witch.  She was planning to fatten them up so she could use them in her favorite dish, roasted child and gravy, which she would serve with a nice green salad, mashed potatoes and some veggies.  She figured that since there were two children, she would cook them together and put one in the freezer for later.)

She gave Hansel and Gretel lots and lots of food and every day she asked them to stick their fingers through the cell bars so she could judge how fat they were getting.  One day Hansel held out a ham bone, instead.  He asked, “Can I please get a refill on this?  I’m hungry!”  The witch was delighted and filled a wheelbarrow with food so she could bring it in one trip, because her knee hurt from an old football injury and she didn’t want to walk any more than was necessary.

When she opened the door to push the wheelbarrow in, the children ran past her and escaped.  Gretel asked, “Shouldn't we stick her in the oven or something?” but Hansel said, “We don’t have time!  Let’s just get out of here!”  He grabbed a few loaves of bread (for the deer) and a GPS that were on the kitchen counter and threw them into the already overflowing wheelbarrow.  The children pushed the wheelbarrow as fast as they could out the door and down the steps and were soon back in the forest. 

They again met the herd of deer and they gave them the bread because they knew how awful it was to be hungry.  The GPS asked, “Where to?” and they programmed in their address.  When they got back home, their parents were thrilled to see the wheelbarrow full of food (and the children).  They moved to a new cabin in a clearing in the forest, far away from the wicked witch and the fiscal cliff and they lived happily ever after.





Want to read a funny book?
Carol Wyer has written a new one!!
It's called "Grumpies on Board".
It will be released May 21 but you can preorder it now on Amazon.





Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up----fishducky