AN EXERCISE IN STULTILOQUENCE

STULTILOQUENCE: senseless or silly talk

(I should be able to handle this!)


This song may make sense on Gaelic or Welsh, but not so much in English:

1. 1. AULD LANG SYNE

      
      
   2. Should auld acquaintance be forgot
      And never brought to mind?
      Should auld acquaintance be forgot
      And auld lang syne

      For auld lang syne, my dear
      For auld lang syne
      We'll take a cup o' kindness yet
      For auld lang syne

      And surely ye'll be your pint stowp
      And surely I'll be mine
      And we'll take a cup o' kindness yet
      For auld lang syne

      For auld lang syne, my dear
      For auld lang syne
      We'll take a cup o' kindness yet
      For auld lang syne

      We twa hae run about the braes
      An pou'd the gowans fine
      But we've wander'd mony a weary fitt
      Sin' auld lang syne

      For auld lang syne, my dear
      For auld lang syne
      We'll take a cup o' kindness yet
      For auld lang syne

      We twa hae paidl'd in the burn
      Frae morning sun till dine
   3. But then, this was one of my childhood songs:
   4. MAIRZY DOATS

   5. I know a ditty nutty as a fruitcake
      Goofy as a goon and silly as a loon
      Some call it pretty,
      others call it crazy
      But they all sing this tune:
      
      Mairzy doats and dozy doats
      And liddle lamzy divey
      A kiddley divey too, wouldn't you?
      Yes! Mairzy doats and dozy doats
      and liddle lamzy divey
      A kiddley divey too, wouldn't you?
      
      If the words sound queer
      And funny to your ear,
      A little bit jumbled and jivey
      Sing "Mares eat oats
      And does eat oats
      And little lambs eat ivy"
      
      Oh! Mairzy doats and dozy doats
      And liddle lamzy divey
      A kiddley divey too, wouldn't you?
      A kiddley divey too, wouldn't you?

   6. Norm Cosby was the king of stultiloquence:

   Malaprops would fit in here.  A malaprop is the use of an incorrect word in place of a word with a similar sound, resulting in a nonsensical, often humorous way, such as "He didn’t know whether it was a grease or electrical fire, so he had to use a fire distinguisher." or "My art teacher says the monster in my painting is just a pigment of my imagination."

   .

   The word "malapropism" comes from the French "mal à propos" meaning "inappropriate", and was personified by Richard Sheridan in his comedy “The Rivals” (1775) as "Mrs. Malaprop", a character who habitually misused her words.  Malaproposisms have been known to be used by politicians:

   
   

   "Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother & a child." Dan Quayle

   
   

   "The police are not here to create disorder, they're here to preserve disorder."  Richard Daley, former Chicago mayor

   He has also referred to a tandem bicycle as a "tantrum bicycle" and made mention of "Alcoholics Unanimous".

   
   

   "This is unparalyzed in the state's history."  Gib Lewis, Texas Speaker of the House

   1. 
      
   2. Archie Bunker, from “All in the Family” is also known for malapropisms. He calls Orthodox Jews “off the docks Jews” & refers to the “Women’s Lubrication Movement”.  Some of his others:
   3. "A witness shall not bear falsies against thy neighbor."
   4. "The hookeries and massageries…the whole world is turning into a regular Sodom and Glocca Morra."
   5. "Last will and tentacle…"
   6. "Patience is a virgin."
   7. "In her elastic stockings, next to her very close veins."
   8. "Buy one of them battery operated transvestite radios."
   9. "A woman doctor is only good for women’s problems…like your groinocology."
   10. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
   11. Do you know the meaning of these words?  (Answers below.)
   12. 1. Widdershins
   13. 2. Taradiddle
   14. 3. Gardyloo
   15. 4. Fernancacle
   16. 5.  Snickersnee
   17. 
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
       
   18. 
       Answers:
   19. 1. 1. Widdershins--In a left-handed or contrary direction
       2. 2. Taradiddle--Pretentious nonsense
       3. 3. Gardyloo--A warning cry (in Edinburgh)
       4. 4. Fernancacle--Being extremely talented and witty
       5. 5. Snickersnee--To engage in cut-and-thrust fighting with knives and/or a large knife
   20. A police officer came to my house & asked me where I was between 5 & 6. I told him, "Kindergarten!!"----fishducky
   21. 
        
       
       
       
       
       
2. 
   

1.