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Tuesday, June 16, 2015

KISS A DUCK & CHANGE YOUR LUCK!!


Can you believe it?  An entire post about ducks!!

Do not get us angry

and do not continue reading if you are anatidaephobic.



emoji.ink lets you draw & write with emojis:


A duck walked into a bar and said to the bartender, "I'll have a beer". 
The bartender said, "Hey! Where did you come from?" 
The duck said, "I'm working the construction site across the street". 

The bartender said, "Well why are you working construction when you could be making millions in the circus?" 
And the duck asked, "What would the circus want with a bricklaying duck?"
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A woman walks into a bar with a duck and the bartender says, "Hey where'd you get the pig?" The woman says, "This isn't a pig.  It's a duck," & the bartender says, "I was talking to the duck!!"
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A man is driving a pick-up truck down the road with a bunch of ducks standing in the back. A police officer pulls over the driver, informs him that he is speeding and then asks him where he's going with all those ducks. The driver says that he doesn't know what to do with them anymore. The officer says, "Look, there's a zoo not far from here and that's where you should take them." The man thanks the officer and drives off with his ducks. 

The next day the officer again sees the same pick-up truck barreling down the road. This time, though, all the ducks in the back are wearing sunglasses. The officer pulls the driver over and says, "I thought I told you to take those ducks to the zoo!" "I did," said the driver, "but now they want to go to the beach!
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A man and a duck are walking down the street together. Suddenly the man notices a low-flying airplane coming right for them. The man yells “DUCK!!” and the duck looks back at the man with an angry face and yells “MAN!!
liveducks.com
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A duck goes into a drug store & asks for a Chap Stick.  The clerk says, “That’ll be $2.00.”  The duck says, “Just put it on my bill!!”
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A man walks into a doctor’s office with a duck stuck to his head.  The doctor tells him it's obvious what his problem is.  The duck says, "Yeah!!  How do I get this guy off my ass?” 
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Are you interested in a duck in a truck?
Click here.





Which do you think is sexier?
This?

or this?




Dubbed the world's largest rubber duck, this giant inflatable was created by Dutch artist Florentijn Hofman.

"The friendly, floating Rubber Duck has healing properties," Hofman said.  "It can relieve the world's tensions as well as define them."
The duck has appeared in Australia, Taiwan, China, Belgium, Japan, New Zealand, Brazil, Los Angeles and Pittsburgh.

How do you like this boat?

It's not always easy being a duck.
Years ago it was even harder for ducks and chickens:

We are often imitated:

Or used to decorate a car:




Or even hunted:


Some people are afraid of us:

We have our worries & concerns:

We are sold into slavery:

There are times we must resort to theft to survive:

But we must eat:
Sometimes we need medical attention:


We must protect ourselves:

Sure, there are times when we have to ask for help:





And sometimes we are helpful:

But we can be strong!!
If we put our minds to it, we can cross oceans:

Surf the highest wave:

And even be on a map:

Because:

But I still won't get into a pick-up game of basketball:






If it tastes funny, don't eat it. If it looks funny, call a doctor. If it is funny, it must have been something I wrote----fishducky