...my birthday is September 27th--one month from today--which should give you plenty of time to shop. If I remember correctly, you didn't get me anything last year!! You probably thought that I would be to hard to shop for, but that's not so. Let me give you some gift suggestions (most of which were found on BuzzFeed):
First, let me show you a few things I don't really want:
A gizmo for making ice cream while driving.
Barbie with a brain
This might be OK for Christmas.
I'm afraid I'd get my money dirty.
Someone might squeeze a lemon on me & dip me in butter.
I definitely don't an earwax vacuum!!
Or a horse head squirrel feeder,
unless they make one big enough for Bud!!
These might be acceptable:
A luggage tag for the world traveler.
A watch that tells the damn truth.
A T-shirt that celebrates the important things in life.
Something to support my back and my ego.
Something that keeps my wine glass from emptying.
Or, when I'd rather have a margarita, a glass that will keep it chilled.
But if you happen to have lots of these
you might consider getting me:
Gold plated staples to make it easier to continue my fine work.
A crocodile skin umbrella.
Any of the three vehicles above so I can have something simple
& unassuming to run errands in.
Something sparkly, like this 100.20 carat diamond.
Something to quench my thirst.
And/or something infinitely more practical!!
He who laughs last, thinks slowest----fishducky