(Reworked old reruns week--originally published 7/6/12)
How many of you can say
your grandmother once posed nude for a calendar? Let’s see a show of
hands. Just as I thought—nobody but me!! Picture
this: Russia. Around 1900. Poor but beautiful
young girl with blond, wavy hair down to her waist. A photographer comes
to her village & wants to put Bubby (Yiddish for grandmother, but she was
“Bella”, not “Bubby”, at the time) on a calendar he was
shooting. She’s embarrassed but her family needs the money, so she
agrees. She is nude, but you can’t see
anything. Her hair is artistically draped over the “good”
parts. She was ashamed because this sort of thing wasn’t done by
nice young ladies in those days, so she never kept a copy. How I wish
I could have seen it!!
The responsibility for supporting her family fell to my grandmother when my grandfather became ill. She took a job sewing in the garment district of Los Angeles. She elected to get paid by the piece instead if going on salary--she was so fast she made almost twice as much that way. She was also an extra in a couple of Mack Sennett's "Keystone Kops" movies. I can't prove it, but I was told that she was the first woman to get a driver's license in California.
The responsibility for supporting her family fell to my grandmother when my grandfather became ill. She took a job sewing in the garment district of Los Angeles. She elected to get paid by the piece instead if going on salary--she was so fast she made almost twice as much that way. She was also an extra in a couple of Mack Sennett's "Keystone Kops" movies. I can't prove it, but I was told that she was the first woman to get a driver's license in California.
This ring is the only thing I have of hers. I wear it on my pinky & I never take it off. The red stones are ruby chips. Bud doesn't like it--he says it's too old-fashioned. I can't go into a new jewelry store without being asked if I want to sell it!!
When our oldest son,
Matt, was first married he was the Assistant Travel Director for the San
Francisco Giants baseball team. He had to go to all the games, both
home & away, & his new bride missed him when he was on a road
trip. His mind works like mine (I’m sorry, Matt) & he came up
with a solution. They should get a large dog, like a
boxer. He figured that the dog could lay on the couch & sleep,
snore & drool--with one paw on the remote. That way, she’d never
know he was gone!!
Speaking of grandparents
(well, I WAS, earlier) my father-in-law used to be the leader of the house
orchestra at the Saltair Hotel in Salt Lake City. The hotel had a
publicity photo made with his picture—handsome devil that he was, in his tux--&
the words, “Ladies!! Get a free autographed picture of Phil
F------!!” Matt, who was about 10 or 12, was visiting his
grandfather with a friend. Phil showed the boys the picture &
they said, “Big deal!! A free picture of Grandpa
Phil!!” He smiled his devilish smile & said, “I wasn’t always Grandpa
Phil!!” He was quite the dude. He liked to wear a grey
pinstripe suit, white shirt with French cuffs, a silk tie--& red socks.
This is Phil (second from left, with the violin) at age 17 or 18.
It was his orchestra--he was the leader!!
It was his orchestra--he was the leader!!
I can’t leave
out my mother-in-law, Audrey. She was brilliant. She
graduated high school at 15, went to college & law school--& had to
wait to take the bar exam because she wasn’t yet 21. There weren’t
very many openings for female attorneys in those days, so she decided to take
the civil service exam so she could get a job as a court clerk. The
exam consisted of many, many questions—most of them having no bearing on her
prospective job. She was not prone to sarcasm or profanity, but I
guess she had had enough when she got to the question: “If the distance from
the earth to the moon is approximately 1,256,640,000 feet & a ball of
string has 750 feet of string, how many balls of string would it take to reach
from the earth to the moon?” Her answer was “Balls & balls &
balls--& that goes for the rest of your damn questions, too!!” I
guess she was right. She got the job.
Bud
& I started dating shortly before I was 16 & married when I was
20. We became engaged when I was
18. Many mothers feel that no girl is
good enough for their son. We spent many
nights at his folk’s house watching TV.
Audrey would say, “You shouldn't just sit around the house. Why don’t you go to a movie--go bowling--get
married?” Do you remember hope chests? She gave me a gift for my hope chest every
month that we were engaged. She gave me
almost all of our sterling silver & I have service for 12.
My mother-in-law Audrey:
Bud was in the Army
& stationed at Fort Ord when we were married. I worked as a
dental assistant on the post. My boss was Dr. Joe Stewart, who was
from Anniston, Alabama. Languages & accents are fun for
me. I tend to “parrot” them without realizing it. Bud
told me that I was beginning to speak with a southern
accent. I told Dr. Stewart what Bud had said & he
responded, “So what? Why’s he complainin’? Y’all
talkin’ right fo’ the first time in yo’ life!!”
A little more on Dr.
Stewart: He used to do dental work under general anesthesia on Wednesday
mornings. One day he asked me if I’d like to watch. I
told him I would. I got scrubbed & gowned, went in & stood a
few feet from the table as he started to work. He told me I couldn’t
see well enough from there & that I should move closer. I
did. He said that I still wasn’t close enough. I moved
again. Not close enough. I moved again & by this time I was
right next to the patient’s head. Dr. Stewart said that if I was
going to stand that close I might as well help & slapped a suction hose
into my hand. I assisted him in surgery from that Wednesday on.
I wasn’t planning on
writing this much about Dr. Stewart, but I just remembered
this: Almost all of our patients were children. Their
parents could be with them while we worked if they
wanted. When he was about to start, he would usually say, “Open your
mouth & let’s take a peek.” Usually. One time,
however, with the mother there, he slipped. What came out was, “Open
your mouth & let’s take a leak.” It broke the two of
us up—mommy didn’t hear it.
This is the way my brain works: