(Another week of stuff from my book, "Fishducky's Fables".)
Roger
Frankenstein went online to the University of Phoenix to study automotive
repair, fashion design and chemistry.
There, he was consumed by the desire to discover the secret of life and,
after several years of research, became convinced that he had found it.
Armed
with the knowledge he had long been seeking, Roger spent months scrounging
through wrecking yards and feverishly fashioning a creature out of old
automobile body parts. He used tires for
hands and feet, headlights and an old Cadillac grill for a face, and a steering
wheel for a brain just as you or I would.
One stormy night, while using a fork in an attempt to get a bagel out of
the toaster (which is a very dangerous thing to do) there was a flash of
electricity. In the secrecy of his
apartment, his creation came to life. He
named him Manny, after his favorite uncle.
When he looked at the monstrosity that he had created, however, the
sight horrified him. (His uncle wasn’t
anything special to look at, either.) After
a fitful night of sleep, interrupted by the specter of the monster looming over
him, he ran into the streets, eventually wandering in remorse. When he returned to his apartment Manny the
Monster was gone, but Roger had a bad headache.
He took two aspirins and went back to bed.
A
week or so later, he heard a honking noise at his door. The monster had returned and he had demands
for his creator. He told him that the
word on the street was that he would be much happier with a mate and ordered Roger
to make a bride for him. He said that if
Manny came back in a week she would be ready, if he could get the parts. The monster was satisfied and he left.
Roger
returned to the wrecking yards and brought home more parts. He also got some extra-large silicone breast
implants, because he wanted to make sure Manny was happy, and constructed a
sleek, sexy mate for him. He named her
Mercedes, because the name seemed to fit her.
Manny came back in a week, as instructed, took one look at her and fell
head over heels (or would that be head over wheels?)
in love. He asked her to marry him, and
having had no dating experience, she accepted.
They were married the next day at City Hall, with Roger as best man.
A
couple of months later, the monster was back at Roger’s door. He told him that the marriage was going very
well. The only complaint he had was that
Mercedes kept nagging him to get a job.
He said that he had no training and that the only thing he knew how to
do was to drive, since he was a big and clumsy monster and was built with tires
and a steering wheel. He had no idea how
he could earn a living.
Roger
suggested they look through the want ads and they happened to see an ad for an
upcoming Monster Rally. It was perfect
for Manny! He entered and he won easily. He entered many more rallies and won almost
every single one. (STP painted an
endorsement on his bumper, which he wore with pride.) He made lots of money and could afford all
the gas and oil he and his wife would ever want. Mercedes made sure that he went to the
mechanic for regular tune ups. They
became the proud parents of three little sports cars and lived happily ever
after.
Follow your heart, but take your brain with you----fishducky
