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Tuesday, November 3, 2015

PLEASE EXPLAIN...



There are so many things that I just don't understand!!  Here are only a few of them:


I recently bought a book of free verse.  Why did they charge me for it?

If the police never find it, is it still a clue?

Why do they call certain flights nonstop?  Don't all flights have to stop eventually?

Why aren't toothbrushes teethbrushes?  Are they only supposed to brush one tooth?

Why aren't elevators & escalators descendelators when they are coming down?

Shouldn't pitted olives have extra pits?

Why you don’t ever see the headline: “Psychic Wins Lottery”?

Why isn't palindrome spelled the same backwards?

Why don't relief maps show restrooms?

What would happen if the head of the lost & found department was reported missing?

What if scientists discover a new disease which has no symptoms, is impossible to detect & for which there is no known cure?  (Fortunately, no cases have been reported thus far.)

Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink? 

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? 

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? 

A new report says that last year Colorado collected $44 million in marijuana taxes. Why can't they remember where they put it?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? 

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? 

How is it possible to have a civil war? 

Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?

If a #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

Why isn't "coffee" the person who is coughed upon?

Why aren't lawyers sworn to tell the truth like witnesses in a jury trial?

After hanging in your closet for several months, why do clothes shrink two sizes?

If it's "a penny for your thoughts" & you "put your two cents in", who's making money on this deal?

If the police arrest a mime, do they have to tell him he has the right to remain silent?

Did you know that protons have mass? (I didn't even know they were Catholic!!) 

What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free? 

How can there be self-help "groups"? 

Is it my imagination, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

What if your detached retina weren't completely detached, just emotionally unavailable?














DON'T FORGET
today is National Sandwich Day!!
Oh, yeah, elections, too.


Is there another word for synonym?----fishducky