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Wednesday, November 4, 2015

SUPERMARKET SALES, SILLINESS & SHENANIGANS


Working in a supermarket shouldn't stop you from having fun & it didn't for the people who posted these actual signs & displays which I found on BuzzFeed.  Of course, stupidity and/or laziness may also have been a factor.  Oddly enough, most of them have to do with booze!!





That was the only thing on my list:


Their version of take out:


Like a pajama party,
but everyone's wearing spinach!!

 No kid of mine's going to get scurvy:

Have you ever played Duck, Duck, Goose
with the real thing?



Go ahead, pick your nose:

Logical!!

Maybe you'd rather buy in bulk?

It's time to leave.

A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him.

“Pardon me,” she said, “I’m sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It’s just that you look just like my son, who I haven’t seen in a long time.”

“That’s a shame,” replied the young man,  “Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Yes,” she said, “as I’m leaving, can you say ‘Goodbye, Mother!’ It would make me feel so much better.”

“Sure,” answered the young man. As the old woman was leaving, he called out, “Goodbye, Mother!” As he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was $147.50. “How can that be?” he asked, “I only bought a few things!”

“Your mother said that you would pay for her,” said the clerk.
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A woman walks into a supermarket & buys one bar of soap, a toothbrush, a tube of toothpaste, a loaf of bread, a pint of milk, one single serving cereal box & a single serving frozen dinner.  The guy at the checkout looks at her and says "Single, are you?" The woman replies very sarcastically "How did you guess?" He replies, "Because you're ugly."

Supermarketpage.com
____________________
 Joe watched as a woman at his supermarket shopped with a three-year-old girl.  As they approached the candy section the little girl asked for some licorice sticks & her mother told her, “No”. The little girl immediately began to whine & fuss. The mother said softly, “Now Cindy, our shopping is going well, don’t be upset.........we'll soon be out of here.”

They soon came to the ice cream aisle & the little girl again asked for a treat. When told she couldn't have one she began to cry.  The mother said gently, “There, there, Cindy, don't cry. Only two more aisles to go & then we'll be at the checkout stand.”
When they got to the conveyor belt the little girl immediately began to demand the candy next to the checkout stand.  Finally she threw a tantrum when her mother wouldn’t let her have any.  The mother calmed her saying, “Cindy, we'll be through this line in two minutes & then we can go home and have a glass of milk and a nap.”
Joe followed them out to the parking lot & stopped the woman to compliment her on her child management.
“I couldn't help admiring how patient you were with little Cindy,” Joe said. 
The mother turned & replied, “Oh, no, I'm Cindy.  My little girl's name is Dorothy.”
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A friend of ours used to own a supermarket.  He had fliers printed every week to advertise sales.These included his slogan, "Lowest in price, highest in quality".  One week there was a slight error in the fliers--they read, "Lowest in price, lowest in quality"!!












Supermarket automatic doors open for me; therefore, I am----Craig Bruce (& fishducky)