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Friday, November 20, 2015

A FASHION GUIDE FOR SENIORS







My friend Carole sent me this.  I don't know if she was worried about my appearance or just being helpful.  Either way, I now offer you this sage advice:

Many people are older and are quite confused about how they should present themselves. They're unsure about the kind of image they are projecting and whether or not they are correct as they try to conform to current fashions. And for those of you receiving this who are getting close to 70, (or 80) keep reading anyway . . . you'll be there. Despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following combinations do NOT go together and should be avoided:
 
1. A nose ring and bifocals
2. Spiked hair and bald spots
3. A pierced tongue and dentures
4. Miniskirts and support hose
5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads
6. Speedos and cellulite
7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar
8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor
9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge
10. Pierced nipples that hang below the waist
11. Bikinis and liver spots
12. Short shorts and varicose veins
13. In-line skates and a walker

And the ultimate 'Bad Taste' in fashion:
14. A thong and Depends
 
Please keep these basic guidelines foremost in your mind when you shop.




Can you spot the fashion faux pas in these pictures?

 Shorts should not be worn 
if it's cold enough for a jacket.

White shoes go much better with ermine.

 One should not advertise that they're wearing old clothes.

 A purple coat needs a delicate metallic cane to set it off.

 Work clothes are not to be worn at home.

 A bra should raise the boobs all the way to the waist.

 A touch of color would spark up her outfit.

 Her hat should match Mickey's shoes, not his pants.

 This lovely creature is dressed perfectly!!





A pair of pearl earrings would complete this outfit.




















Have you ever had that horrifying moment when you're looking for an adult but then you realize that you are an adult so you look for an older adult, someone successfully adulting--an adultier adult?----fishducky