Ladies--let's keep this our secret!!
(Reprinted
from a June, 2013 post with new cartoons.)
I’d like to tell you about
an organization my friends & I founded a number of years ago. There
are no meetings & no dues. No rules except that you must tell at
least one woman friend about it & swear that you will never tell a man.
Reading ahead means that you agree to the terms of membership.
The organization is called
“WHAM”. That’s an acronym for WHY HUSBANDS ARE MURDERED, although in this
day & age it could also mean significant other instead of husband.
Our purpose is to save women the trouble of constantly complaining about the
things their husbands do—usually caused by testosterone poisoning. In my
time it meant things like, “I went to the market like you asked. So, big
deal I forgot milk, bread & eggs. You didn’t really need them, did
you?” or “I DID tell you that I accepted that invitation to that formal affair
tomorrow, didn’t I?” or my personal favorite, after a day where nothing went
right, the kids are screaming & you’re still in your nightgown, him coming
home from work & saying, “What do you mean I didn’t tell you that I had
invited my boss & his wife for dinner tonight? Why aren’t you dressed
yet?” God only knows what they are today.
These things are the types
that do not constitute grounds for divorce, but we feel that murder would not
be an inappropriate reaction.
WHAM members need only to
look at another member & say “Wham!!”. The other member would answer
by giving her a thumbs up & repeating “Wham!!”. This response would
mean:
1—I know, honey, I’ve been
there.
2—I’m so sorry.
3—What can you do?
They’re men!!
4—I’d kill him if I were
you.
5—Any or all of the above.
Congratulations on your
new membership!!
fishducky
President, WHAM
PS—The inspiration for the
formation of WHAM came from a line in the play, “The Fourposter”. After
50 years of marriage the wife is asked if she had ever thought of
divorce. Her answer: “Divorce? Never. Murder? Yes!!”
PPS—Shortly after the
forming of WHAM my youngest son was married. At the time, he & his
wife both worked for United Airlines so, of course, there were many airline
employees at their reception. I told all of the female guests about our
new organization & they promised to carry the word back to their many parts
of the world. I fully expected to hear some male newscaster say, “Women
all across the world are giving each other the thumbs up sign & saying 'Wham!!’ We’ll get back to that when we find out what the reason is.
Right now, no one will say anything.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In case
you're wondering, I am NOT mad at my husband (at this moment)---fishducky
