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Thursday, February 25, 2016

I'VE BEEN THINKING......



I've been thinking about these things I saw on BuzzFeed:


We eat pizza from the inside out.

If you live to be 70 years old you will spend
10 years of your life on Monday.

Sometime in the future, someone will say your name for the last time.

Deaf people probably don’t understand why farts are funny.

The word ambiguous only has one meaning.

Outer space isn’t empty, it literally contains everything there is.


It’s not possible for Wolverine to get circumcised
because of his mutant healing factor.

When jogging, we put on special clothes so people
don’t think we are running from or to something.

How do vampires always look so neat and tidy
 if they can’t see themselves in the mirror?

If you drop an Oreo you can still safely eat two thirds of it.

There’s only one sunset, and it’s been going around the earth for billions of years.

What does my mirror look like when I’m not looking at it?

Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed.

The Swiss must have been pretty confident of their 
chances of victory if they
included a corkscrew on their army knife.

If you did something “like a boss,”
you’ve probably just paid someone else to do it.

In order to fall asleep, you have to pretend to fall asleep.

Wrong is spelled wrong in the dictionary.

Mothers only get a day, but sharks get a whole week.

Can Chewbacca even say Chewbacca?
Shouldn’t his name be something like Rawwwraaraar?

Nothing is on fire, fire is on things.

Morgan Freeman’s voice sounds even better in his own head.


If you wake up earlier on weekends now you get to
 sleep in for 5 days a week instead of two.

As Andy grew older, all of his toys sat motionless and watched him masturbate.




















I took an IQ test and the results were negative----fishducky

 





14 comments:

  1. "in order to fall asleep, you have to pretend to fall asleep."
    Bingo!
    That's exactly how I do it. Sometimes I pretend I'm in a coma, that works too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, yeah--if you want a really deep sleep!!

      Delete
  2. Some gems here. And I fail to convince myself that I am asleep. It seems that pretending is another thing I fail at...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't think of it as pretending--think of it as a LIE!!

      Delete
  3. And all this time, I thought jogging clothes made ya go faster.
    Lisa

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They will if you're in a rough neighborhood!!

      Delete
  4. Some really interesting thoughts here. My mature mind cackled over the deaf people and farts. Also think naked soldiers and politicians is a great idea.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Are there any questions?...No. is the best one of all. I taught for 2 decades.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Then you know he's giving an HONEST answer!!

      Delete
  6. That mirror thing has bothered me for years.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I just finished sharing these with Mrs. C. and we're still chuckling.

    ReplyDelete

Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.