Monday, February 15, 2016


These definitions (& some of the cartoons) were sent to me by Susan at I Think; Therefore I Yam.  Thank you, Susan!!

Jewbilation  (n.) Pride in finding out that one's favorite celebrity is Jewish or that your offspring is marrying a Jewish person.

Torahfied  (n.) Inability to remember one's lines when called to read from the Torah at one's Bar or Bat Mitzvah. (OR from the Hagadah at Passover)

Matzilation  (v.) Smashing a piece of  matzo to bits while trying to butter it. 

Bubbegum  (n.) Candy one's mother gives to her grandchildren that she never gave to her own children. 

Chutzpapa  (n.) A father who wakes his wife at 4:00 a.m. so she can change the baby's diaper.

Deja Nu  (n.)  Having the feeling you've seen the same exasperated look on your mother's face, but not knowing exactly when.

Disoriyenta  (n.) When Aunt Linda gets lost in a department store and strikes up a conversation with everyone she passes.

Hebort  (v.) To forget all the Hebrew one ever learned immediately after one's Bar or Bat Mitzvah.

Jewdo  (n.) A traditional form of self-defense based on talking one's way out of a tight spot.

Mamatzah Balls (n.) Matzo balls that are as good as your mother used to make.

Meinstein  (slang) "My son, the genius!"

Mishpochadots  (n.) The assorted lipstick and make-up stains found on one's face and collar after kissing all one's aunts and cousins at a reception.

Re-shtetlement  (n.) Moving from Brooklyn to Miami and finding all your old neighbors live in the same condo building as you.

Rosh Hashana-na-na (n.) A rock 'n roll band from Brooklyn.

Yidentify (v.) To be able to determine Jewish origins of celebrities, even though their names might be St. John , Curtis, Davis, or Taylor. 

Minyastics (n.) Going to incredible lengths and troubles to find a tenth person to complete a minyan.

Feelawful  (n.)  Indigestion from eating Israeli street food, especially falafel.

Dis-kvellified (v.) To drop out of law school, medical school or business school as seen through the eyes of parents, grandparents and Uncle Sid. In extreme cases, simply choosing to major in art history when Irv's son David is majoring in biology is sufficient grounds for diskvellification. 

Impasta (n.)  A Jew who starts eating leavened foods before the end of Passover. 

Kinders Shlep  (v.) To transport other kids besides yours in your car. 

Schmuckluck (n.)  Finding out one's wife became pregnant after one had a vasectomy. 

Shofarsogut (n.) The relief you feel when, after many attempts, the shofar is finally blown at the end of Yom Kippur. 

Trayffic Accident (n.) An appetizer one finds out has pork.

If you'd like to see a book about Jewish inventions,
click here.

A gutn tog (pronounced a gooten tog).  "Goodbye" in Yiddish----fishducky



  1. Love Yenta the Jewish GPS.
    My gentile mama channelled her often. Much to my father's disgust.

  2. Love all the cartoons! The first Potato Pancake? I love potato pancakes, nice to know the origin of them (*o*)
    in my opinion, 'shlep' is one of the world's best words, right there with 'klutz' and 'oy vey', or as I say Ay-yi-yi.
    re Hebort; my friend Val made sure her kids didn't forget too much of their Hebrew, they took turns every day saying grace in Hebrew.

    1. My friend once had a German Shepherd with hip problems, so he dragged his ass around. His name? SHLEP!!

  3. Replies
    1. You'd HAVE to do what she says, right?

  4. You're welcome, Fran!

    I love these, especially the definitions. And if a Jew married a Catholic, you know what song they'd play during the ceremony, don't ya? "Oy Vey, Maria."

    1. My grandmother had a bird that talked--like my grandmother, with a Yiddish accent. Too bad she never taught him that song!!

  5. Nice, thank you for bringing this to us


Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.