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Friday, February 12, 2016

THE SIX MOST FRIGHTENING WORDS IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE: “THE DENTIST WILL SEE YOU NOW.”


Do you grind your teeth?


As some of you know, I worked as a dental assistant during the Stone Age just before I was married & for a few years after.  To read a little about it, click here.  

To read about how Billy Crystal feels about going to the dentist, click here.

To laugh some more, read these from http://www.dentalaffairs.com/


A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist.

"I want a tooth pulled, and I don't want Novocain because I'm in a big hurry," the
 woman said. "Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we'll be on our way."

The dentist was quite impressed. "You're certainly a courageous woman," he said. "Which tooth is it?" 

The woman turned to her husband and said, "Show him your tooth, dear."
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A man walks into the dentist's office and after the dentist examines him, he says, "That tooth has to come out. I'm going to give you a shot of Novocain and I'll be back in a few minutes."

The man grabs the dentist's arm, "No way. I hate needles and I'm not having any shot!"

The dentist says, "Okay, we'll have to go with the gas."

The man replies, "Absolutely not. It makes me very sick for a couple of days. I'm not having gas."

So the dentist steps out and comes back with a glass of water, "Here," he says. "Take this pill."

The man asks "What is it?"

The doc replies, "Viagra."

The man looks surprised, "Will that kill the pain?" he asks.

"No," replies the dentist, "but it'll give you something to hang on to while I pull your tooth!"
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A woman goes to the dentist. When he leans forward to begin work, she grabs his balls and says, “We're going to be careful not to hurt each other, aren't we?"
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Did you hear about the dentist who planted a garden?

A month later he was picking his teeth
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Mother: Has your tooth stopped hurting yet?

Son: I don't know. The dentist kept it
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"Open wider," requested the dentist, as he began his examination of the patient. "Good God!" he said, startled. "You've got the biggest cavity I've ever seen, the biggest cavity I've ever seen."

"OK, Doc!" replied the patient. "I'm scared enough without you saying something like that twice."

"I didn’t," said the dentist. "That was the echo!"
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When a new dentist set up in a small town he quickly acquired a reputation of being the latest kind of "painless" dentist. But a local lad quickly disputed this. "He's a fake,” he told his friends. "He's not painless at all. When he stuck his finger in my mouth I bit him and he yelled like anyone else."
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A lady entered the dentist’s surgery in an obvious state of agitation. The dentist tried to calm her down assuring her that he would do nothing to hurt her. She sat down in the chair and started fidgeting nervously as the dentist began sterilizing all the required equipment. When he asked her to open her mouth, she screamed.

He tried to calm her down again even though he was losing patience.

Almost immediately the lady threw a hysterical fit, then realizing that the dentist had begun glaring at her, she said, "Oh doctor, I'm so nervous. I hate dentists. Why, I think I'd rather have a baby than have a tooth drilled."

Replied the dentist, “Well, miss, better make up your mind so I can adjust the chair."
-------------------------------
Patient: Doctor, I have yellow teeth, what do I do?

Dentist: Wear a brown tie...
------------------------------
A guy goes to visit his grandmother and he brings his friend with him. While he's talking to his grandmother, his friend starts eating the peanuts on the coffee table, and finishes them off.

As they're leaving, his friend says to his grandmother, "Thanks for the peanuts." 
She says, "Yeah, since I lost my dentures I can only suck the chocolate off 'em."
------------------------------
AND MY FAVORITE:

A guy and a girl met at a bar. They started getting along really well and they decide to go to the girl's place for a drink.

A few drinks later, the guy took off his shirt and washed his hands.

He then took off his socks and washed his hands.

The girl looked at him and said, "You must be a dentist!"

Flabbergasted, the guy responded, "Why yes. That's amazing. How did you determine that?"

The woman replied, "Easy... you keep washing your hands."

Well, one thing led to another, and they migrated to the bed. Things became more and more passionate and... (*snip*)

After their passionate deed was done the woman remarked, "You must be a great dentist!"

The guy was very surprised, and said 'Yes! Yes! I sure am a great dentist... You amaze me! And how did you know that, my dear?"

His lover said, "That's easy. I didn't feel a thing."




I would absolutely freak out if my dentist
wore one of these masks:


Some cartoons for you:


































 I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on----fishducky

 



18 comments:

  1. Sigh.
    They terrify me.
    One of our dentists was missing the top joint of his index finger and I always wondered whether a patient had bitten him. And didn't dare ask.

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  2. I don't think chocolate fillings will work well. Laughed a lot at that dentist skit, even the patient was laughing.
    I don't mind going to the dentist. The cost bothers me a heck of a lot more than the actual dentistry.

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    Replies
    1. Tim Conway's purpose in life was to break up Harvey Korman!!

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  3. Lots of good jokes here. And I remember seeing that skit before. (Carol Burnett show, maybe?) I thought it was hilarious then, and still do. Another funny bit about going to the dentist that's really funny is the one Bill Cosby did in the video "Himself." I know he's fallen out of favor, but no matter what kind of scumbag he may have been in his real life, he was still one funny man.)

    Actually, I like going to the dentist. I know. Weird, right? If I were rich, I'd get my teeth cleaned more than twice a year. My husband? He only goes if he's in pain. Last appointment he made was to get a tooth pulled, but it fell out on its own, so he cancelled. (sigh)

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    Replies
    1. I see a dentist every 3 months, alternating between my regular dentist & a periodontist--but I DON'T enjoy it!!

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  4. I'm terrified of the Dentist. I have been known to get the shot of Novocain and when the dentist left the room, I laid 20.00 on the counter and walked out. I felt good for about 2 hours. Best 20.00 I ever spent. lol.
    Lisa

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  5. I never get tired of that Tim Conway skit.

    The real pain at my dentist is when he hands me the bill.

    I asked my dentist if I should floss my teeth and he said "Only the ones you want to keep." (I know, old joke.)

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  6. Tim Conway is the best. I too was a dental assistant---for 3 days. I kept fainting every time a child would cry.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I lasted a few years longer than you!!

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  7. Well done, thank you for bringing this to us

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  8. I've had the same dentist for twenty-dive years and I've had every procedure available, and he's never once hurt me. But I can still laugh at these jokes.

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    Replies
    1. Pain is MUCH funnier when it affects someone else!!

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  9. "I didn't feel a thing." That must be my ex-husband. I used to be terrified of going to the dentist. Then thirty+ years ago I saw a dentist who was kind and gentle. He was such a nice person that I recovered from my fear. God has sent me good dentists ever since.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete

Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.