When Blake, our youngest son, got married he & his wife eloped to Las Vegas. I guess they didn’t want all the fancy trappings that go with a formal wedding. Soon after their return we threw them a wedding reception. I decided I had a right to see them get married, so I performed a wedding ceremony. (No, I am not a minister.) It was short & went something like this: “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to reunite this man & this woman in holy matrimony. Please join hands. Diane, do you promise to love & honor Blake & to let him have the TV remote control? ‘I do.’ Blake, do you promise to love & honor Diane & to put the toilet seat down? ‘I do.’ I now re-pronounce you husband & wife. You may kiss the bride!” They were later married (again!) in a Catholic church in Florida, where her family lives. We had not met her family before. At the reception at her sister’s home her father told me that he & his wife loved our Blake the first moment they met him. Sometimes I don’t know what I’m going to say until it comes out of my mouth. What came out was, “Really? What do you think of him now?”
I was Christmas shopping one year & found the perfect T-shirt for Blake. It had a picture of a TV remote control on the front & said, “It’s a man thing!” I told the saleswoman I’d like one in an extra-large. She didn’t have any under the counter so she called across the busy store to a stock boy, “I need a ‘man thing’ in an extra-large!” The woman behind me in line said, “Don’t we all?” Cracked up the whole store!
He & his brother once bought me a VERY LARGE toy stuffed reindeer for Christmas. They bought it in San Francisco & brought it down on the plane with them. It was too large to be wrapped & they didn’t want to send it through baggage. It wouldn’t fit in the overhead & they didn’t want to have it in their laps, so they did the only reasonable (?) thing. They bought him a ticket. “Rodney” was strapped into a seat & a passenger asked the flight attendant if she would move him so he could sit there. She laughed & told him, “I’m sorry, sir, but the reindeer has a ticket.” They showed me their copy. On it was “Passenger’s name: Reindeer, Rodney”.
My family has always expressed emotion physically. We practically kissed each other goodbye when we went to the bathroom. I had to teach my husband to become a “hugger” when we got married. (He already knew how to kiss.) I guess I created a monster. When Blake was about 2, I was standing at the sink preparing dinner. (Yes, I used to make dinner!) He pointed to my leg & asked, “Dat yours?” I told him yes. He pointed to my arm & said, “Dat yours?” Yes, again. He then pointed to my breast & asked, “Dat Daddy’s?”
(Sorry, no picture here!!)
Blake was 52 last year. I am 36. The best way to explain this anomaly is to tell you about something that I read in one of Kirk Douglas’ books. A “senior” movie actress was being interviewed. The reporter said, “Forgive me, Madame, but I have to ask. Your son (who was also a star) admits to being 56. You claim to be 63. How can this be?” Her answer (& mine): “He has his life—I have mine!”