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Wednesday, June 8, 2016

MANY MEMORABLE MARRIAGE QUOTES

To see yesterday's post, click on "newer post" at the bottom of this one.





"Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution"
Comedian and actress Mae West.  West also said “men are my hobby, if I ever got married I'd have to give it up.”.

“Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.”
Physicist Albert Einstein 

"Adrian Mole's father was so angry that so many people got divorced nowadays. He had been unhappily married for 30 years, why should everybody else get away?”
Sue Townsend, who wrote The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole, Aged 13¾". Above, Adrian Mole was played by Gian Sammarco in the classic TV series.

"My husband said he needed more space … so I locked him outside"
Roseanne Barr 

"I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.”
Groucho Marx

 "Basically my wife was immature. I'd be in my bath and she'd come in and sink my boats"
Comedian Woody Allen, who also said: "Marriage is the death of hope" and that "I tended to place my wife under a pedestal."

"A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband"
Michel de Montaigne was one of the most significant philosophers of the French Renaissance.

"A man doesn't know what happiness is until he's married. By then it's too late"
Frank Sinatra 

"Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply purgatory."
Abraham Lincoln

"The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing 
– and then marry him."
 Cher

 "Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit"
Comedian Billy Connolly

 "I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, 'Marry him, you'll double your wardrobe'"
Comedian Joan Rivers also said: "Half of all marriages end in divorce – and then there are the really unhappy ones."

"I don't think my wife likes me very much, when I had a heart attack, she wrote for an ambulance"
Irish comedian Frank Carson 

"Marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries"
Wayne to Garth in the 1992 film "Wayne's World"

“Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience”
Oscar Wilde 

"Love: a temporary insanity curable by marriage"
Ambrose Bierce


 “Longed for him. Got him. Shit”

Canadian Margaret Atwood


 "Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry."

Rita Rudner


“My wife and I tried to breakfast together, but we had to stop or our marriage would have been wrecked”

Winston Churchill


"A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores"

Author Terry Pratchett 


"Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterwards"

Benjamin Franklin


“They say all marriages are made in heaven, but so are thunder and lightning”

Actor and director Clint Eastwood


 “'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?”

George Carlin


 "A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it"

Actress Zsa Zsa Gabor


 "By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher"

Socrates


"Marriage: the most advanced form of warfare in the modern world”

Malcolm Bradbury, author of The History Man.


In 1959, Billy Wilder ended his comedy "Some Like It Hot" with a joke from the millionaire Osgood Fielding III (Joe E Brown) about getting married, as he is steering a boat away from the pier in Miami. Osgood is with his new love Daphne - who is a man in drag, played brilliantly by Jack Lemmon. Daphne takes off her wig and says “I’m a man!”, to which Osgood replies, deadpan: "Well, nobody’s perfect!” 
(All pictures & quotes from telegraph.co.uk)














If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?----fishducky

 




18 comments:

  1. Big smiles.
    And yet, somehow, some marriages do work.

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  2. Thanks for making me laugh, I can always count on you.
    Like EC said, some marriages do work. Yours, for instance.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's too early to tell with ours--it's only been 61 years!!

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  3. Replies
    1. You're welcome, shortybear--welcome to my blog!!

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  4. Replies
    1. Any words from the current Mrs. Cranky then?

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  5. I think you two were lucky, blessed, or just determined--LOL!
    I tried it twice and it wasn't for me, I guess. ;)

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    Replies
    1. I think "determined" was a misprint--it should have been "demented"!!

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  6. I'm blessed to have a happy marriage. "Im Happy, and hes married".
    Lisa.

    Na really, marriage has been the best for both of me and my husband. We are best friends.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy marriage is not NECESSARILY an oxymoron!!

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  7. Thanks for the laughs. I can never get enough of Oscar Wilde.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Marriage is work. And it involves growing up and older together.

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    Replies
    1. I may have grown older but I refuse to grow UP!!

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  9. I love Some Like It Hot.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete

Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.