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Wednesday, June 15, 2016

NEVER PLAY FETCH WITH AN EMU (& OTHER THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER DO)

Emus just aren't good at fetch:

I don't mean to be dictatorial, 
but there are some things you should just never do, such as:

Look a gift horse in the mouth butt:


Never demand that a pelican apologize:


Don't count your chickens ducks before they hatch,
although you may have trouble getting them to stay
 still long enough to count afterwards:


Don't cry over spilled milk
(especially if you're my son):

One day when they were small, the kids were having lunch & I was at the sink, with my back to them.  Blake knocked over his glass & spilled his milk.  I wiped it up & poured him some more.  He knocked over his glass again, & again I wiped it up & poured him more.  I warned him not to do it again or he would be sorry.  I watched him out of the corner of my eye as he deliberately knocked it over one more time.  I picked up the gallon milk bottle (which had probably a quart or so left in it) & emptied it on his head!  Childish, I know, but it made a beautiful waterfall--or, I guess, a milkfall.  He didn’t even cry; he just sat there with his little mouth hanging open in amazement as the milk cascaded over his head.  As far as I know, none of our kids ever deliberately knocked over their milk again.  Not while I was in the room, anyway.

To see why you should never use a power drill
to eat corn on the cob, click here.


Never dip your pen in the company ink.
(This has nothing to do with office supplies!!)

Never apologize when you were right
(except to your wife!!)




Never eat at this place:

Never quit your bad habits;
nobody likes a quitter!!

Some adage & cliche cartoons for you:
















Never mind----fishducky

 















14 comments:

  1. Perfect proverb 957 is painfully true.
    Love the cartoons.
    And I remember seeing a man lose his watch to an emu. The emu pecked at his wrist. He moved his arm away. His watch was on an expanding band. It expanded. And was swallowed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It must have been the emu's dinnertime!!

      Delete
  2. Too much of a good thing is a bad thing? Since when? Thanks for the giggles.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Even I don't agree with everything I post!!

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  3. Where the heck were all those ducks?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't know where they were going but they apparently were in a hurry!!

      Delete
  4. Replies
    1. I would NEVER argue with Maxine--she's my hero!!

      Delete
  5. No doubt your kids turned out well because they didn't know what might get dumped on their heads.

    Love,
    Janie

    ReplyDelete

Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.