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Friday, June 10, 2016

WOULD SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME…


(Reworked from a  3/13 post.)

I hope you're as interested in this stuff as I am!!  
Do any of you know...


     …What is the speed of dark?

…When you're sending someone Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

…Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM's?

…How come you never hear about gruntled employees?

…If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

…How can there be self-help groups?

…If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

…When you open a new bag of cotton balls, are you supposed to throw the top one away?

…When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at the carpeting?

…How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't live there?

…Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

…When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?

…If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

…If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

…Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

…Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

…How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

…If a turtle loses its shell, is it naked or homeless?

…What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?

…Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

…Why do they report power outages on TV?

…Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the empty gun is thrown at him? 

…When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting? 

…After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water? 

…Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak? 

…Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money in the account to pay the fee? 

…Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? 

…Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

…Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? 

…Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? 

...Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

…Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but not to their behind when they ask where the bathroom is?

…If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

…If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

…Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

…Why, when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out of the window?

…Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

      ...Do Jewish vampires avoid crosses or Stars of David?

      ...At what point in man's evolution did he start wiping his behind?

      ...If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?

      ...Do the security guards at airports have to go through airport security when they get to work?

      ...If you really could dig a hole to China, and you did, and you fell in, would you stop in the middle because of gravity?

      ...If a queen gave birth to conjoined sons, who would get to be king?

And the most perplexing question of all:
…Why are you reading this post in the first place?













My species is naturally curious….fishducky

 


20 comments:

  1. Lots of our phrases are truly weird when you think about them aren't they?
    And some days I would like to shoot tourists...

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  2. I don't understand why Braille signs are anywhere. How are the blind people supposed to find them?

    Love,
    Janie

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    Replies
    1. Good question--I never thought of that!!

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  3. Yes! I'm pretty sure pushing the elevator button twice does make it arrive faster.

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  4. Love the vultures ignoring that guy's bird seed.

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  5. If a clown farted, would it smell "funny"?
    Lisa

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  6. Why isn't life just a bowl of watermelons?

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  7. Ha Ha Calvin! boy has he got some surprises coming.
    Did you know the newspaper as bird carpet is in there twice?
    I've never put the bit of string back on the floor, I just feed it straight into the vacuum pipe.

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    Replies
    1. I know now, but I still can't answer it!!

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  8. I'm still not interested in Bruce Jenner either :)

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  9. That was funny and it did raise many questions, I even asked my neighbour what colour his hair was as i want to know he shaves his head I've never wondered before.
    Merle....................

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    Replies
    1. Bald men usually have a fringe, but I never thought about shaved heads!!

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Your comments make my day, which shows you how boring my life has become.