Wednesday, August 31, 2016


Today's post title is the subtitle of this book

This is the companion book.

Here are some sample pages from "Twenty-Odd Ducks":

Both BuzzFeed & I think some punctuation is needed here:


Remember, half the people you know are below average----fishducky


Tuesday, August 30, 2016


PART 1. 
Some things we know about oceans (from awesomeocean.com):

For starters there are five – Pacific, Atlantic, Southern, Arctic and Indian.
 Pacific Ocean
The Pacific is the largest and covers more than 30% of Earth’s surface.
Challenger Deep, the lowest known point on Earth at 35,827 feet below sea level, is in the Pacific Ocean near Guam.
The Pacific is home to the Great Barrier Reef off the coast of Australia and the Ring of Fire, which describes the collection of volcanoes around the ocean basin
By volume, the Pacific contains more than half of the world’s ocean waters.
Due to plate tectonics, the Pacific is currently sinking.
This ocean is home to the world’s second largest island, New Guinea.
In the Northeast Pacific, tropical storms are known as hurricanes; in the Northwest they are called typhoons. In the South Pacific, they are known as cyclones.

Atlantic Ocean
The Atlantic is the second largest, but only half the size of the Pacific Ocean. It borders North America, South America, Africa and Europe. The mid-Atlantic ridge is the longest mountain range of Earth, and since it is spreading, the ocean is growing in size. The Atlantic was the first ocean to be crossed by ship and plane. The largest island in the world, Greenland, is in the Atlantic Ocean. The Atlantic contains more salt than the other four.

Southern Ocean
The Southern Ocean is located around the South Pole.
It’s home to Emperor penguins.
Arctic Ocean
The Arctic surrounds the North Pole and many polar bears live on Arctic ice.
The ice covering the Arctic is shrinking by 8% every ten years.
Most of the ground features discovered in the Arctic Ocean have been named after explorers to the region.
Indian Ocean
The Indian is located between Africa and Austral-Asia.
This ocean is the world’s largest breeding ground for humpback whales.

The Indian Ocean is the warmest ocean on Earth.

Each ocean has a diverse group of animals that call it home. In addition to the five oceans, there are lots of seas. They are part of the ocean, but partially enclosed by land. The most famous are the Caribbean and Mediterranean.
The “Seven Seas” was thought to refer to the Mediterranean, Adriatic, Black, Red, Arabian, Persian Gulf, and Caspian seas. Today, most people believe that refers to the North and South Pacific, North and South Atlantic, Arctic, Indian and Southern oceans. 

Some things we don't know about oceans (from BuzzFeed.com):

About two-thirds of all marine life remains unidentified.

Most are probably tiny ocean bugs or whatever.

No one knows what made this sound. 

While the most famous mystery underwater sound — the Bloop — is consistent with (read: probably) some underwater icequake or another, no one knows for sure what made this sound, nicknamed Julia. So it might be Cthulhu. You don’t know.

There are probably halibut bigger than this, which broke world records at 515 pounds.

Caught by a German dude in Norway.

We might not have identified eight whale and dolphin species.

About 90% of the ocean is still unmapped.

And it could take 125 years to get that done. (Source.)

Because 95% of it we haven’t explored, meaning there COULD be mermaids

You don’t know! Stop pretending like you know! (Source.)

Mysterious rivers and lakes exist underwater, 
with creatures found nowhere else.

Some of these brine-filled rivers and lakes have mussels living around them, and some don’t. Why don’t some have mussels? Why?
(Brine is super salty and way more dense than water, so it sinks and forms these pools and streams.)

Somebody just south of New Zealand caught this 39-foot-long Colossal Squid, but we don’t know a lot about it.

It’s also unclear how many valuable minerals are hiding out in the water.
There’s gold in them submarine hills, y’all.

Off the coast of Cuba, some researchers discovered a possible lost city..

It could be nature playing tricks, or it could be that long-lost Mayan city that disappeared under the waves. Cough, ATLANTIS, cough

Some stuff about shells, also from BuzzFeed:

Lightning Whelk
The lightning whelk is a sea snail that actually eats other things in shells, like oysters, scallops, and clams, oh my!

The dye this mollusk produces is a deep purple color, which was once used to make royal robes and clothing. Hence the term “royal purple.”

Florida Fighting Conch
This sea snail lives in warm Floridian waters in its special shell, which allows its eyes to peak outside while its body stays within the safety of the shell.

Wentletraps are rare and extremely difficult to find, but when you find one, you’ll know immediately. Their name is derived from the Dutch word “wendeltrappe,” which means “spiral staircase.” Wentletraps have been popular with royalty for centuries, so if you find one, hold onto it tight.

Banded Tulip
The tulip is named after its shape, which resembles a tightly closed tulip flower. Inside this shell lives the black snail, which has a toothed tongue to bite through the shells of its prey.

These snail shells are considered tough to find, as they normally live in deeper waters and only get swept to shores after hurricanes. They’re named after the Roman goddess Juno.

Spiny Jewel Box 
The spines of the spiny jewel box give it its distinct look and are used to protect them from predators like moon snails. Jewel boxes range in color, but you can immediately recognize them from their spikes.

Scallops actually have up to 100 eyeballs. One. Hundred. Eyeballs. Scallops!! Just some food for thought next time you see them on the menu. 

Things kids think they know about the oceans (from democraticunderground.com):

An octopus has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6)

Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)

If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don't have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (Mike, age 7)

Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson . She's not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)

A dolphin breathes through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy, age 8)

My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6)

When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William, age 7)

Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant?  Like, really? (Helen, age 6)

I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy, age 6)

Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher, age 7)

When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)

Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can't 
go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky, age 8)

On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass. (Julie, age 7)

The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't drown I don't know. (Bobby, age 6)
My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom. (James, age 7) 

What with global warming & rising ocean levels, I'm thinking of investing in some beachfront property in Kansas----fishducky